The Times is reporting that Salma Hayek allegedly married on Saturday in Paris:

Mexican-born actress Salma Hayek has married French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, reports the online edition of the weekly Le Point reported.

According to the report, the 42-year old Hayek, who is a naturalised US citizen, and Pinault, 46, were married on Valentines Day in the city hall of the Sixth Arrondissement in central Paris.

The news, if confirmed, comes as something of a surprise, because the star of the films Frida and Bandidas and Pinault had announced the end of their engagement in July last year.

On September 21, 2007, while engaged to Pinault, Hayek gave birth to her first child, Valentina Paloma Pinault, in Los Angeles.

Pinault is CEO of the luxury giant PPR and the son of one of France’s richest men, Francois Pinault, whose fortune has been estimated at $16.9 billion by the 2008 Forbes List of Billionaires. He also owns the publication Le Point, which broke the story

I’d love to get video footage of those two fighting. You’d have Salma shrieking away in Spanish, possibly throwing bric-a-brac at Pinault’s follicly-challenged head, and him cursing at her in French, hand on hip and gesticulating into the air with the other hand.
Now, if love can’t conquer all the turmoil their relationship has been through, then there’s two things that has been proven time and time again to do the trick: a fabulous rack and big bucks! Viva la romance!

Looking like a naughty schoolmarm at the ‘One Pack = One Vaccine’ campaign:

Actress Salma Hayek gave not only of her time and her money on a recent mission trip to Afrcia — she also gave of her breasts. Yep, you read that right. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. According to USA Today

“[There was this] baby [that] was perfectly healthy, but the mother didn’t have milk. He was very hungry. I was weaning Valentina, but I still had a lot of milk that I was pumping, so I breast-fed the baby. You should have seen his eyes. When he felt the nourishment, he immediately stopped crying.”

That little trick doesn’t just work with babies, you know. It works with men, too. Whenever they start whinin’ and bitchin’ about something ridiculous, just pop a titty¹ out and shove it in their stupid face until they stop making noise. It usually takes about two or three minutes, depending on their lung capacity, and it helps to have already taped his hands to the couch. And you also have to make sure your areola is covering both the nostrils and the mouth hole, or it won’t work. You know you’re golden when the feet stop twitching. Presto! Now the bastard will never bother you again. We could all learn a lesson in kindness from Salma Hayek.

¹_{Those of you with anything less than a C cup might wanna stick with an iron skillet and a bag of arsenic.}

At the National Board of Review last month:

I don’t even know what the CNN Heroes All-Star Tribute is, but I guess it happened or something.  I could look it up, but I hate CNN and have boycotted them since they fired Chez Pazienza, so I refuse to even go to their site to find out.  Besides, I don’t need to, because what matters here is Salma Hayek and her magnificent rack.  Her dress is meh, but her chest is mind-boggling.  Jessica Biel and Eliza Dushku were also there, and they both looked hot as hell.  Jessica’s dress is weird.  I think I like it.  The bodice is a really unusual colour that would probably look like neon snot on most people, but it looks great on her.  I also love everything that is going on with Eliza Dushku.

Salma Hayek:

Jessica Biel:

Eliza Dushku:

Dozens of female celebrities and actresses — from the Olsen Twins to supermodel Cindy Crawford — get almost-naked in photographer Timothy White’s new book “Hollywood Pinups” ($39.95, Collins Design). Actress Angie Harmon, seen above, gets the most naked of all, but not just because naked hot chicks are awesome. The collection of naughty photos is actually a charitable endeavor — 100% of the proceeds go to fight global poverty. And, it seems, to aid those without an impetus to masturbate. Statistics indicate it’s the biggest problem currently facing males age 14-73 in our nation today! Won’t you do your part and get naked, too? I say it’s time to stop being part of the problem and start becoming part of the solution, ladies!

Latina bombshell Salma Hayek has landed a recurring role on the NBC sitcom “30 Rock” as Alec Baldwin’s character’s new love interest. I can think of two very good reasons she scored a “recurring role” on the show. Two massive, supple, heaving reasons. A) Her impressive command of the English language, and B) the depth and range her “Sinbad Show” experience brings to the table. Not since Charro has such a wealth of talent and English mastery been present in one amazing woman!

Shooting 30 Rock in Brooklyn on Saturday:

Salma Hayek gave birth to a baby girl over the weekend. People magazine reports

Salma Hayek and her businessman fiancé, François Henri Pinault, are the parents of a baby girl, Valentina Paloma Pinault. “Mother and daughter are doing well,” Hayek’s publicist said in a statement. The daughter is the first child for Hayek. Pinault, 45, has two children from a previous marriage which ended in divorce in 2004.

Good for Salma. Since practically every actress in Hollywood is either pregnant or having babies, here are a couple of shots of pregnant Nicole Richie relaxing in Hawaii with perma-shirted Joel Madden. When they aren’t complaining about indigestion or farting or blowing up with preeclampsia, pregnant women can be pretty hot. The whole “fountain of life” bit. Plus huge boobs. I was almost an E cup by the end of my last trimester. Sure, I was two hundred pounds and didn’t “walk” so much as I “staggered around clutching my back and moaning,” but my rack was fucking awesome. If it weren’t for all the veins and the bright red stretch marks and the African bushman nipples, I would have looked just like a porn star.

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Salma Hayek had defended her full-frontal nude scene in her latest movie “Ask the Dust,” claiming that the sequence is a vital part of the story. She appears naked in a short beach scene with co-star Colin Farrell in the romantic film. She tells NY Daily News:

“I don’t want to do nudity just for the sake of doing nudity. But this is an iconic part of the story from the book. It’s important because it represents my character Camilla’s spirit, which is very free, and yet she lives in world where she’s very repressed by the circumstances. So the nudity is almost symbolic for who she is.”

I love it when actresses get philosophical about showing off their asses. The truth is that nudity sells and that’s it.

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Her new movie Bandidas may not be that great, but I would still nominate Salma Hayek for next year’s Golden Globes Awards.