Michael K at Dlisted got some seriously disturbing footage from “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” or as it’s known in 87% of the Muslim* world, “Keeping up with the Great Satan.” In the above clip, the older Kardashian whores (this would include the mother and the fat ones and the really fat ones) are in Mexico shooting an ad campaign for Joe Francis’ Girls Gone Wild bikini line. Let’s pause here and really drink that part in, shall we? All the while the two littlest twats are in the protective custody of some retard and his retard friend with the accent. The uglier retard has the bright idea to videotape the two elementary-age girls pretending they are on Girls Gone Wild and swinging around a stripper pole. Yes. God only knows how many national landmarks are gonna pay for this abomination. My hawkish ideals and I just sat there in stunned silence when the clip ended. Really — we had nothing. It was starting to get a little awkward. Finally, I just turned on Al-Jezeera, set down my Coke and my tiny American flag and said, “Just stick with the nitramines this time, boys. I hear they burn a little cleaner.” Then I flew away on a bald eagle, ruing the nation I’d once sworn to protect while a single tear ran down my cheek. On second thought, maybe I just did a couple of bong hits and watched that clip of that dog puking while he’s humping that other dog. Also an entirely appropriate response.

*and Canada