TMZ first broke the news over the weekend, but Heidi Klum and Seal confirmed yesterday that they are separating after seven years of marriage and four children together. They said in a statement to People Magazine:

“While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul-searching we have decided to separate.

We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition.

We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children’s sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy.

The first thing that came out of my mouth when I heard this was “WHAT?!” followed promptly by a “WHY?” and then “Who the fuck drank all my bourbon?” The Daily Mail offers some insight into the split, saying:

Heidi Klum is divorcing her husband Seal because of his hard partying.

A source told the Sunday Mirror: ‘When they had their holiday in Ibiza last summer, Seal hit it hard, was out at clubs and with his friends a lot and Heidi was left with their kids trying to enjoy herself. The cracks were appearing and everybody was talking during that trip. He seemed off the rails.’

I have to say, this genuinely surprised and disappointed me. They seemed like they really had it figured out. Sometimes couples just hit a rough patch, I guess. This must have been the first time the rough patch wasn’t just Seal’s face. Seriously, the guy looks like he was put together with a goddamn weed-eater.

Heidi Klum in Digital Magazine before the dark times:

I guess when you have a body like Seal’s, you can get away with wearing a Speedo on the beach. Mostly because you’ve got a good forty pounds and six inches on anyone who dares to laugh at you.

With wife Heidi Klum + the kiddies in Sardinia:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

The video for Seal’s new single “Secret” from his latest album Seal 6: Commitment was released online today, which features 47-year old Seal in nothing but his $21,500 Parmigiani watch. On the plus side, his supermodel wife Heidi Klum is also naked in the three-minute video. The NY Daily News says:

In the steamy video, the naked couple [caress] one another while frolicking together in bed.

Klum [said] that she and her husband didn’t have to do much acting for the project.

“It’s the story of two people in love,” the 37-year-old model said. “My husband is what I always wanted and never thought I would have.”

The couple also revealed they kept nude photos of themselves in the family bathroom.

“They see their parents naked all the time,” Klum told Us Magazine of her children. “We are not ashamed.”

She might not be ashamed, but I sure as hell was. I haven’t felt that much abject discomfort after seeing something since I was forced to watch Michael Bolton’s jive on Dancing with the Stars. I couldn’t help but squirm all the way through it.

Screen grabs from the video here; watch Bolton shame-ify himself on DWTS after the jump:

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Hi guys, it’s Sonya today. Did you know that nipples can stick to ice? It’s true. Just ask Abby when she gets back.

So, the Grammys happened last night, and like the dedicated blogger that I am, I didn’t watch them. I don’t really care who gets what, because it’s all a bunch of crap anyway. They never mention my favorite group, Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters, so I don’t bother. I am interested in what everyone wore, so here we go:

Taylor Swift’s dress fits kind of weird, I think.

Rihanna chose to let her dress do the choking

During a lapse in security, crazy lady Phoebe Price slipped in, as did super-classy Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Pink didn’t need to sneak in, she just snarled at security

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The 2010 Golden Globe Awards were last night.  We could kill some time talking about them, but nobody really cares about the actual awards.  Let’s just cut to the chase and take a look at what all the ladies were wearing, shall we?

Halle Berry:

Christina Hendricks:

Jennifer Aniston (with Gerard Butler):

Nicole Kidman (with Mo’Nique):

Diane Kruger (with Joshua Jackson):

Mariah Carey (with her wife Nick Cannon):

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Supermodel Heidi Klum put up the first photos of her 7-week-old daughter Lou Sulola on her official website yesterday. This is one of those rare instances where saying, “aww, she looks just like her daddy” could actually be construed as an insult, because Seal looks like a damn horseshoe bat who lost all his fur in a fire. You might as well spit in her crib and make the sign of the cross while you’re at it.

Heidi Klum and Seal renewed their wedding vows in Malibu yesterday with a white-trash themed hoe-down for a bunch of friends and family. I’d swear these pictures were from my third wedding, except there aren’t any F-150s plastered with Confederate flags in the background and none of the bridesmaids are doing kegstands.

The 40th Annual NAACP Image Awards were last night.  I have no idea if they were televised, because I still have the flu and I spent my evening raging with fever, hoping that I might die in my sleep and find an end to my suffering.  Alas, I woke up this morning still nine kinds of alive and still feverish, cursing every god I’ve ever heard of.  I am not remotely in a good mood, so buckle your chin straps, bitches.  Today might be a little bumpy.

Another red carpet, more ladies in dresses…

Rosario Dawson (oooh, pretty):

Halle Berry (drink her in before she shaves her head for Nappily Ever After):

Dakota Fanning (I guess she’s a Strong Black Woman now since she did The Secret Life of Bees):

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