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Britney Spears’ entire extended family joined her in Miami yesterday for a little fun in the sun with the kiddies. The Daily Mail sys

Famous sisters Britney Spears and Jamie Lynn Spears wore colorful bikinis as they relaxed poolside with their children, mother Lynne and father Jamie at the five-star Mandarin Oriental Hotel on Brickell Key.

Britney and her sons Sean Preston, three, and Jayden James, two, frolicked in the pool with Jamie and her 14-month-old daughter Maddie.

Things sure start improving when you get both Spears siblings together in bikinis! Like your odds of finding a dude with a high school equivalency who actually knows how to bowhunt nearby, for example.

Even more Spears bikini action after the jump:

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PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin

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K-Fed, girlfriend and kids

Wow, it looks like Britney Spears and K-Fed did the old switcheroo! She’s gotten herself back into shape, and he’s become a big lardass. Jeebus, he actually looks like he has cankles. What do you bet that the pack of Evian water he’s carrying isn’t water at all? It’s just a false cover hiding some beer. And is that a bodyguard with them? Seriously? Who’s actually taking pictures of him anymore, anyways? I bet it’s some crippled pap who can’t keep up with everyone else, so he’s resorted to following some has-been and his girlfriend.

Seeing a movie with his two boys and girlfriend Victoria Prince

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Britney Spears is all smiles and exposed midriff on the cover of December 11th issue of Rolling Stone, in which she divulges some choice tidbits about her delightful and well-adjusted toddlers. Us Weekly quotes her as saying

“They’re staring to learn words like ‘stupid,’ and [3-year old Sean] Preston says the F-word now sometimes,” Spears reveals. “He doesn’t get it from us,” the singer stresses. “He must get it from his daddy [Kevin Federline]. I say it, but not around my kids.”

That’s probably true, not because she’s vigilant about clean language around her children, but because she’s probably only seen them a total of eighty-four hours in the last year and a half. Not a lot of time to imprint vocabulary on the impressionable, as things like that go. One thing you won’t be reading about in Britney’s Rolling Stone interview, however — her ongoing battle with bulimia. Star Magazine says

A source [says] Brit’s diet consists mostly of “Taco Bell and turkey jerky washed down with Red Bull. She throws up after meals, both at home and at restaurants, and she isn’t very discreet about it.”

The pop star is also “taking diet pills. She has to go to the bathroom constantly. It just runs right through her. And everyone knows she still throws up when she’s eaten too much. You can smell it in the bathroom.”

A crazy woman who reeks of puke living with her father and saddled with two little brats. The only way that line could be more unappealing to men everywhere is if the words could somehow leap off the screen and kick them in the testicles. See, there’s “lowering the bar,” and then there’s “using the bar to ass-fuck yourself in front of a mirror while sobbing uncontrollably.” I’ll let you decide which heading “dating Britney Spears” falls under.



Britney Spears met up with ex-husband Kevin Federline in court yesterday for her first custody hearing in over three months. This one went decidedly better than the last one, in that she didn’t show up five hours late and talking in a British accent. TMZ says

Brit will get three days of supervised visitation per week… [and] she will also have overnight visitation within a month. The goal is to ramp it up over the next few months so that Brit gets 50/50 custody [again].

Good for her. It looks like she’s finally learned her lesson. Like she said on the way out of the courthouse, “Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” No, wait — that’s not right… I think it was Elizabeth Stone who said that. My mistake. Britney actually said, “Dammit, SP, I dun tole ya ta quit touchin’ Mama’s smokes with them grubby little fingers a yers. I sed QUIT!” Ah, the mother-child bond! It brings a tear to the eye.

At Bally Total Fitness yesterday:


Those supervised visits with mommy apparently register as “terrifying” on the toddler distress scale, because Britney’s boys have been having nightmares ever since she came back into their lives. According to Page Six

Sean Preston has been sleeping in the same room as father Kevin Federline lately because he’s been having nightmares. Preston also cried for his dad at first when Britney picked them up. The boys are said to be confused when it comes to their mom, which is another reason why either Jamie Spears or a psychologist is present during the visits.

I’d say “confused” is an understatement. You can’t expect a kid to just black out the night mommy was strapped to a stretcher and hauled away. The wail of the sirens; the flashing blue lights; the steady drone of the choppers circling overhead while mommy screams from inside the bathroom — it’s practically Viet fucking Nam, for Chrissakes. Only instead of the man in the black pajamas, it’s a fat chick in a pink wig and British accent. That’s got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder written all over it.

Britney shopping on Robertson Blvd Tuesday:


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