The faggy kid was the big winner of American Idol’s tenth season, beating out the chubby girl in a star-studded crapfest that I didn’t bother watching last night because I was too busy huffing glue. The Daily Mail says:

With an astonishing 122million votes cast by viewers, there was no doubt that Scotty McCreery was the popular choice, with Lauren Alaina coming in second place.

‘I never in my wildest dreams,’ said an emotional Scotty, whose strikingly deep, old-soul voice defies his youth.

The religious 17-year-old then added: I’ve got to thank the Lord first… he got me here.’

The star-studded show featured performances from Lady Gaga, Bono, The Edge, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Judas Priest, Kirk Franklin, Jack Black, Tony Bennett, Carrie Underwood and Tom Jones.

Bono? Really, Bono was on American Idol promoting some Spiderman shit? And I thought I he couldn’t sink any lower than hawking Louis Vuitton man-purses for Marc Jacobs. That just goes to show you should never bank on artist integrity when there’s a dollar at stake. I think selling out just reached its zenith.

Lady Gaga and Jennifer Lopez performing (video of both, plus Beyonce & the female finalists after the jump):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

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The new judges for the tenth season of “American Idol” were announced today, and you’ll never guess who they are. The Daily Mail says:

FOX Network, who hosts the show, announced that singer Jennifer Lopez and Aerosmith rocker Steven Tyler will join Randy Jackson for season ten of the hit talent contest.

Ryan Seacrest announced the panel at the seventh and final audition process held at the Forum arena in Los Angeles.

Well, it’s a logical choice, considering how much Steven and JLo have in common. For example, he’s a singer, and she plays a singer on TV. Also, they both obviously own a triple barrel curling iron. Bam! Instant repartee right there.

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

Dallas pilot Jake Pavelka revealed on last night’s Bachelor finale that he will be starring on the tenth season of ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars,” along with some other equally D-list has-beens and nobodies. People Magazine says

[The season ten cast includes] astronaut Buzz Aldrin, reality star Kate Gosselin, Olympic gold medalist Evan Lysacek, actresses [Shannon] Doherty and [Pamela] Anderson, Pussycat Dolls star Nicole Scherzinger, soap star Aiden Turner, NFL star Chad Ochocinco, ESPN’s Erin Andrews, and actress-comedian Niecy Nash.

The new Dancing season kicks off March 22 on ABC.

Well, the good news is that Kate Gosselin already has her very own Asian sweatshop at her disposal. That ought to save the DWTS costume department a fortune in lycra-polyester blends and manual labor.