Lindsay Lohan doesn’t just steal fur coats and jewelery — she also steals secret formulas. Like Plankton, except with two eyes. And Hepatitis. Nine MSN says:

The perma-orange star has been charged with stealing a fake tan formula, which was then used in a range she promoted.

“Although I have been a spokesperson for Lorit, LLC, and its Sevin Nyne product, I had no involvement in where or how the Sevin Nyne product is marketed and sold or in the marketing strategy for the product,” [Lohan said in a] statement.

She even tried to get out of it by saying the law in Florida doesn’t apply to her, as she doesn’t actually live there.

“Although I occasionally visit Florida for pleasure, I have never had any acting jobs in Florida,” she said.

In other Lohan news, Lindsay checked herself into an “undisclosed Southern California” rehab facility yesterday. Just like she did in January 2007, when she checked into the Wonderland Center in L.A. for 30 days. Or like she did again in June of that same year. Only it was the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu, and it was for six weeks, not thirty days. Kinda like the stay she did at the Cirque Lodge two months later in Utah. That one was six weeks, too. And the crazy thing is, she just checked herself back into rehab, when technically she’s supposed to have been in rehab at UCLA’s Neuropsychiatric Hospital this whole time! Funny how it all comes full circle, isn’t it?

UPDATE: TMZ is now reporting that the “undisclosed rehab facility” she checked into is actually the famed Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage, California.

“The Hangover” star Bradley Cooper is Hollywood’s newest golden boy. Well, at least the top half of him is. The Daily Mail says

The 35-year-old appeared to be suffering from a fake tan malfunction, with only about 2/3rds of his face appearing bronzed.

The skin under his chin stubble was his normal colour.

Clearly hoping not to look too pale under the bright lights of the cameras, it appeared Cooper had been rather heavy-handed when applying his fake tan.

But perhaps Cooper didn’t want to put the products on his three days worth of facial hair.

While Cooper had clearly made an effort with his dapper grey suit, his smart appearance was overshadowed by his two-tone face.

Oh, he shouldn’t feel too bad about it. It’s exactly how Samantha Ronson looked all throughout her relationship with Lindsay Lohan. You don’t chow down on the Lilo cooter without a little getting a little Sevin Nyne on your 69! Woo! High five!

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online, Pacific Coast News

Now you, too, can have that Chernobyl glow, thanks to Lindsay Lohan’s new line of self-tanner “Sevin Nyne.” People Magazine says

“I have tried every product on the market and never found something that I loved [until I met spray tanner Lorit Simon]. She had an amazing tanning formula that over the years we continued to perfect,” Lindsay reveals of the partnership. “It was important to me to have a natural product that didn’t have a lot of dyes and chemicals. Our product has goji berry extract which has antioxidant properties, it has a natural golden color, it doesn’t streak and smells delicious — not like a typical tanning product.”

The $35 spray will become available exclusively in Sephora stores on the first of May — with an early web launch on Sephora.com on April 15.

And, judging from the promo ads, it also erases freckles while broadening your jaw line! I’m sure it also works as a long-lasting penile numbing agent to prolong sexual encounters, and when huffed, produces a buzz similar to that of inhaling VCR head cleaner. Lindsay Lohan’s not going to just put her name on anything, you know. It has to be a product she can stand behind. Or at least get in front of on all fours.