The stuff that women say in men’s magazines crack me up. Take Selita Ebanks for example. She claims that she owns a “giant boudoir of nothing but panties and bras” and that she really doesn’t care about diamonds. They basically make up all sorts of crap so that you can whack off believing that there are hot women out there who parade around in lingerie and aren’t looking for someone with a ton of money to finance their expensive tastes. It’s like that blurb on the box of Lucky Charms that tell me that even though it’s pretty much pure sugar, it’s a part of this complete breakfast because it provides me with whole grain and calcium and minerals. Just because it says one thing, doesn’t mean that your ass won’t pay in the end.

Here’s Victoria’s Secret’s token black model Selita Ebanks in the August issue of FHM UK. Apparently the “secret” here is equal opportunity. Yes we can!

Only Katy Perry would have the gall to think she belonged in a corset at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Next to Alessandra Ambrosio and Selita Ebanks, she might as well be Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Those poor unfortunate souls!

Alessandra Ambrosio here, plus more Katy Perry, Lily Aldridge, Selita Ebanks, Isabeli Fontana, and Isabel Goulart after the jump):

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

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I’m going to do things a little backwards today and start with the S.S. because the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was last night, and it’s the best thing you’re gonna see all day. Trust me, it’s all downhill from here. Kinda like my life for the last fifteen years.

UPDATE: Moving this to the top of the page so you can abuse it all weekend. You’re welcome!

Ana Beatriz Barros, Selita Ebanks, Erin Heatherton and Isabel Goulart after the jump.

Heidi Klum:

Alessandra Ambrosio:

Miranda Kerr:

Marisa Miller and Doutzen Kroes:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

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Victoria’s Secret Angels Marisa Miller and Sellita Ebanks took a little break from shooting their new ad campaign to have fun in the water yesterday. It’s kinda hard to differentiate when they’re working from when they’re taking a break, because it all looks exactly the same when you’re a model. Whereas I can always tell I’m not working. When I’m not wearing elbow-length plastic gloves and squeegeeing pig entrails into a floor drain, I’m not working. Simple as that. Maybe Selita and Marisa should try working at a slaughterhouse for minimum wage and learn the goddamn difference.

The Victoria’s Secret Angels strutted their stuff down the catwalk at a lavish show the newly-renovated Fontainebleau hotel in Miami this past weekend. There were the requisite feathers, the elaborate costuming, the diamond brassieres, and oh, yes — the boobies. Boobies, boobies, boobies. I sure hope none of you girls out there woke up feeling good about yourselves today! Nothing’s a better antidote for self-affirmation and esteem like 800 pictures of the world’s most perfect bodies. If it makes you feel any better, angel Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button (close up here). They have to photoshop one on her in shoots. Disgusting freak. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me now, I have some cutting and purging to do. Laxatives don’t just ingest themselves, you know!