Senator Edward “Ted” Kennedy passed away on Tuesday after suffering from a brain tumor. He was 77 years old. People Magazine reports

“Edward M. Kennedy – the husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle we loved so deeply – died late Tuesday night at home in Hyannis Port,” his family said in a statement. “We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever.

And don’t let’s forget the inspiration of his leaving a woman to drown after driving his Oldsmobile off a bridge, or his legacy of sexual assault, crippling alcoholism, and all-around whoremongering. I just hope they have enough room to fit all that on his tombstone at Arlington.

After bailing on him on late last month, Presidential hopeful John McCain finally made an appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman last night. And gosh golly gee, was it as riveting as you’d imagined it’d be. That David Letterman really brought the heat, which of course was great for John McCains’s hips and lower back. Ha ha! Get it? You know, because he’s old, and… ugh. Look, I tried. Let’s be honest here. The only thing you’ll find on the internet more boring than this interview will under the heading “accounts payable/accounts receivable” and “Key Management Ratios: From Cash Flow to ROI and ROTA.” Knock yourselves out.