A former patient and intern of Dr. Phil McGraw’s has come forward with claims that he repeatedly fondled and sexually abused her while she was being treated by him. According to the National Enquirer”

44-year old Sarah Morrison was a college sophomore when she sought treatment from Dr. Phil in 1984.

“I suffered from low self-esteem, and I was depressed, lonely and suicidal,” recalled Sara. “Phil was extremely insistent that I see [him] three or four times a week - as a patient.”

In a highly unethical move, he paid Sara to work as his intern, while charging her as a patient at the same time.

“The first day I showed up for work, Phil had his hands all over me,” she recalled. “Phil would pull me down to sit in his lap while he talked on the phone to patients, other doctors, even his wife! He’d be running his hand up and down the inside of my thigh all the way up to my panties.”

At the time, the then 34-year-old psychologist and his second wife Robin had been married for eight years.

I always knew that Dr. Phil was a wormy bastard. The mock turtleneck is a dead giveaway. Nobody but serial killers and English professors and frumpy middle-aged women wear those hideousities. Throw a mustache into the mix and you might as well be standing on a playground with your pants around your ankles doing the “wiener helicopter” in front a bunch of terrified little old ladies. It’s the only way it’d be more obvious that you were a gigantic pervert.

Russell Crowe as Robin Hood because he’s not wearing a mock turtleneck:

George Clooney is coming to the legal defense of Cindy Crawford’s husband’s Rande Gerber, who is currently embroiled in a sexual assault lawsuit filed by a pair of former waitresses who claim they were 86ed from his restaurant after refusing his sexual advances. According to Us Weekly

While working at [Gerber's] Moonstone Lounge in San Diego, one of the women claims the supermodel’s husband attempted to kiss her three times during the night, then “put his hand up [her] dress in between her legs in an attempt to fondle her crotch.”

“I was with Rande the entire night — as were a lot of people,” [Clooney] said in a statement Monday. “They will all say the same thing that I’m saying. This event never happened. Period.”

A Gerber Group spokesperson [said] “Mr. Gerber and Mr. Clooney will take lie detector tests to prove that the allegations against Mr. Gerber are false.”

That Gerber fellow better pray that his judge is a woman, because everybody knows that no female mortal can resist the mischievous grin and smoldering eyes of the Silver-Haired Rake. His mere presence makes bras spontaneously unhook themselves and panties disappear into thin air. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up on the floor of a Toledo airport bar bathroom without any underpants to speak of. It’s just a shame that I always somehow manage to miss actually seeing him when he’s there.

Wife Cindy looking gorgeous at the Costume Gala Institute last night: