The bodyguard who claimed to have been sexually harassed by Britney Spears made good on his threat to file a lawsuit against her yesterday, in which he alleges that she repeatedly exposed herself to him and abused her children. TMZ says:

Flores alleges on one occasion “[Spears] was wearing a white lace, see-through dress. She walked over close by [Flores], intentionally dropped her cigarette lighter on the floor, bent over to retrieve it and thereby exposed her uncovered genitals to [Flores]. The incident caused [Flores] shock and disgust.”

The suit then goes on to describe another alleged instance where Britney summoned Flores to her room, where she was standing naked. The suit claims, “After an awkward silence during which [Britney] just stood naked before [Flores], [Flores] asked Spears if she needed anything. After some hesitation, Spears asked [Flores] to get her two bottles of 7 Up.”

One time after allegedly exposing herself, the suit claims Britney said, “You know you liked it.”

And the suit says, “In addition to exposing herself to [Flores], Spears engaged in numerous sex acts in front of him.”

And not just sex acts in front of him — sex acts in front of the kiddies, too:

And there is a more serious allegations — the suit claims Britney was “loudly having sexual relations” in a hotel suite where her kids were present, [and that] on one occasion, Britney allegedly demanded Flores’ belt, then walked in the house and allegedly twice “savagely hit the small child [Preston]” with the belt.

The suit claims on another occasion Britney fed both kids crabmeat even though she knew they had serious fish allergies. The suit claims both kids started vomiting and Spears allegedly prevented anyone from seeking medical help, allegedly telling them, “Mind your own f**king business!”

I don’t know why you would feed anyone crabmeat. Crabs are goddamn disgusting. They look like giant spiders, except with exoskeletons and pinchers. If you saw one of those things scurrying around on dry land, you wouldn’t say to yourself, “Hmm, looks tasty! Let’s tear it open and eat whatever’s inside!” You’d hit it with a can of Raid and then beat it with a broom until it stopped moving. Just because it’s a bug of the sea doesn’t make it any less revolting.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

It’s been revealed today that a former female employee at Jesse James’ West Coast Choppers settled a sexual harassment lawsuit against him and his company to the tune of $725,000 back in 2007. That would be two years into his marriage to Sandra Bullock, for those of you who aren’t so hot with math. According to TMZ:

The woman claimed between 2006 – 2007, Jesse James repeatedly made sexual advances, which allegedly included sexual acts.

The woman kept several suggestive emails from Jesse. In one email, which is included in the file, Jesse wrote to the woman, “Need anything before I split?” She responded, “Some Tums.” Jesse replied, “I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better.”

She claims after an oral encounter with Jesse, she kept a telltale Clintonesque T-shirt.

The woman quit in 2007 and hired Gloria Allred’s law firm to represent her. No lawsuit was ever filed, but on September 27, 2007, the matter settled for $725,000.

In the settlement docs, Jesse neither admitted nor denied the allegations.

When asked for comment, Tiger Woods reportedly said, “Wheeeeeee!” and high-fived his press agent. This has gotta be the best thing to happen to him this year.

Carrie Underwood in next month’s Allure, because the broads that dude bangs are GD disgusting:

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