Rachel Bilson sexes it up in the November issue of Flaunt magazine, and boy, is flaunt ever right. Rawr. She’s like a (NSFW) young Sophia Loren, that one. I still can’t believe someone as hot as she is is engaged to the douchebag that forever ruined Darth Vader. It’s like finding out Princess Leia married Jar Jar fucking Binks. Blasphemy!
If you want to see a waste of a perfectly good naked woman, try on next month’s Details magazine for size. You’ll find American Idol runner-up and notorious flamer Adam Lambert doing his best hetero impression all over a beautiful naked female model inside. I just don’t get it. Adam Lambert is gay, and Details magazine is gay… it doesn’t make any sense. The only way a naked woman is going to appeal to that target demographic is if there’s an article about the sophisticated old world charm wainscoting adds to a room and a recipe for the perfect risotto al Barolo printed on her backside.
I guess if he can’t be shirtless, seeing Hugh Jackman in a perfectly-tailored suit is the next best thing. Provided a sailor’s dress whites or a fireman’s uniform weren’t available, I mean.
With his girls in the West Village:
I don’t know how one goes about securing the position of “Megan Fox Boob Adjuster,” but one thing’s for sure: career day at your kid’s school just got a hell of a lot more interesting.
On a photo shoot in L.A.:
It’s hard to believe that Lynda Carter is almost 60 years old and still looks this damn good. Come on, admit it — you’d totally do it with Wonder Woman. And don’t think you can lie, either! The Lasso of Truth won’t abide it!
Lynda (and her invisible plane?) at the American Ballet’s 69th Annual Spring Gala yesterday:
After making a statement about how she doesn’t feel the need to appear intelligent, wunderkind Megan Fox opens her yap to give us her perverted version of what hyper-popular High School Musical is all about. Digital Spy reveals,
Megan Fox has joked that the hidden plot of High School Musical concerns child molestation.
The Transformers actress told Esquire that the narrative of the movie is not as innocent as it may first appear.
Fox said: “Let me tell you what it’s really about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron’s dad.
“It’s about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there’s music involved. You have to get stoned and watch it.”
In the same interview, Fox said that she had “no question in my mind about being bisexual”, but admitted to being a “hypocrite” about her taste in women.
“I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man,” she said.
Um, wait a sec here. Doesn’t she have a fiancé, Brian Austin Green, who she takes her “libido of a teenage boy” out on? Her logic is staggering. I have high hopes for this upcoming marriage.
Because Transformers is primarily aimed at horny teenagers, here’s a scene where she makes a “sexy” quick change froma leather outfit into a dress.
I always thought Emmy Rossum kinda looked like an albatross until I saw these pictures of her in next month’s issue of Details magazine. Boy, was I wrong. She looks nothing like a bird. She looks like she could be Eva Mendes’ slutty little sister or something. So, because I am humble enough to admit my mistakes, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Ms. Rossum for my avian comparison of late, and ask that she please allow me to extend my open invitation to wear her ass like a surgeon’s mask. It’s the least I could do, considering the circumstances.
PHOTO CREDIT: Matthias Vriens for DETAILS
Actress Olivia Munn gets all dolled up for Halloween in the October issue Complex Magazine by staying true to the real meaning of the holiday: being a gigantic whore. Next to Assover and the Anal Tuesday*, it’s the practically the biggest holiday for sluts the world over!
*Arbor Day comes in at a close second.
Olivia Munn’s hot Complex video:
David Beckham’s official 2009 calendar is available for pre-order on Amazon.com, ladies! It’s about time we had something delectable to look at, wouldn’t you agree girls? Maybe if you’re really bad good Santa will leave this in your stocking! There’s really not much to be said here. I’ll let the pictures do the talkin’, your hands do the walkin’!
Miley Cyrus issued a statement apologizing for those suggestive MySpace pictures and for a photo shoot in next month’s Vanity Fair in which she appears to be topless. People Magazine quotes her as saying:
On Vanity Fair:
“I was so honored and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”
On the MySpace pictures:
“The pictures of me on the Internet were silly, inappropriate shots. I appreciate all the support of my fans, and hope they understand that along the way I am going to make mistakes and I am not perfect. I never intended for any of this to happen and I am truly sorry if I have disappointed anyone.
Most of all, I have let myself down. I will learn from my mistakes and trust my support team. My family and my faith will guide me through my life’s journey.”
The Disney Channel’s spin on it:
“Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines.”
And lastly, Vanity Fair’s take on it:
“Miley’s parents and/or minders were on the set all day. Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley. The photo suggests that she is [naked], but she is not. She is covered by a sheet, and beneath the sheet she is clothed.”
Originally, she was in a flesh-colored tank top but was asked to remove it.”
And MY take on it:
Jesus H. Christ. If we’re going to start arguing the hypersexualization of little girls, how ’bout we start with those god-awful Bratz dolls that every seven year old in pigtails seems to have? That Vanity Fair photo is no more provocative than a halter top, but this little yo-ho looks like she’s about to offer me a half and half plus Greek if I want to come up three o’clock. Those are awfully big words to have to explain to a second grader. Fortunately, pointing and lewd hand gestures still do the trick in Nepal. Sex sells, sweethearts!
UPDATE: Now with more hot daddy-on-daughter action!
Recognize the chick on all fours tonguing the magazine laying on the ground? I didn’t think you would. The above photo is one of many less-than-demure shots of George Clooney’s girlfriend Sarah Larson, a “model” from Vegas, taken a month after they were first introduced. Star Magazine says
“She’s been described as having a successful runway and print modeling career. But until recently, her “modeling career” consisted mostly of being paid by promoters… to attend special events in sexy outfits and party with her wild girlfriends! Sarah… loves to drink. She likes to get wasted when she goes out.”
And therein lies the rub, ladies. Despite a man’s willingness to drop $29.95 and two hours on a Saturday watching footage of young coeds exposing their breasts and soaping each other up in front of an audience of intoxicated post-pubescent males, the response is decidedly less positive when said footage includes you. Especially if he is unaware said footage existed beforehand. Doubly especially if said footage may or may not have been filmed while he was holed up in your honeymoon suite with a case of the shits while you “went for a nature tour to Chichen Itza.” Trust me, “I was in college” and “Me no hablo ingles” will only work so many times before they start demanding paternity tests again.
More NSFW pictures here.
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