There’s a reason Chico’s and Coldwater Creek don’t sell string bikinis, people. See Exhibit A: Sharon Stone on the beach in Venice. Gross. Once you hit the half-a-decade mark, you have no business EVER showing your midsection in public. Put that shit under a caftan and stuff it in some support hose and a pair of orthopedic shoes where it belongs.
Olympic skier Lindsay Vonn poses as Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct for the cover of ESPN magazine’s “Movie Spectacular,” but before you break out the Jergens and Kleenex, you should know there’s no (NSFW) money shot. Long story short, it’s basically the movie-reenactment equivalent of being served a lukewarm O’Doul’s. Bottoms up!
Video of the shoot after the jump. Wheee.
“Five Bucks a Day” might be overshooting it here. I’d say that’s about four dollars and ninety-nine cents too many.
Sharon Stone gave the paps a little up-skirtage while vacationing in Sardinia this week. Although I’m not sure if it technically qualifies as an “upskirt” since she’s the one doing it to herself. Not to mention that there’s bathing suit underneath. And she’s 51. And scratching her ass. By my calculations, that’s at least four cases for disqualification right there.
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin
It’s been a while since we’ve seen Sharon Stone’s fake tits, so here they are on the cover of Paris Match magazine, which I’m assuming is some kind of catalog for the transsexual sadist. Browse such erotic novelties as the Pegasus Leather Gag Mask with Adjustable Velcro Closures and the Show No Mercy Latex Peephole Brief while reading about Sharon Stone’s body confidence at the age of 50! Bon achats génitales!
It’s nice to see Cruella de Ville sans her usual fur coat and opera length red gloves. So many of our cartoon villainesses get caught in the proverbial “fashion rut,” as it were. Hello — Maleficent, anyone? Someone really ought to tell her that horned headdresses and sorceress capes are so 17th century.
Cruella with Melanie Griffith in West Hollywood yesterday:
Because those bastard English are never happy unless they’re showing everyone else up, they also had an awards show last night. It was the BAFTAs, and it was chock full of more interesting people in better clothes than the stupid losers at the Grammys. Yay for red carpet round-ups (holy shit, I cannot wait for awards season to be over)!
Kate Winslet won yet another award, once again looked hot as hell doing it:
Brad’s still got that dumbass mustache, but Angelina didn’t wear a shapeless sack this time. Her dress actually fit her and even had a sliver of colour!
Robert Downey, Jr. looked fantastic, and he was being so sweetly adorable with his wife that I think I got Diabetes just from looking at them:
Mother of the Year Sharon Stone is denying claims that she wanted her 8-year-old son Roan to receive Botox treatments for his stinky feet. According to Us Weekly
“Sharon Stone never made this statement. It is a complete fabrication,” her attorney Martin Singer tells Entertainment Tonight. “Sharon loves her son Roan and only wants the best for him.”
Of course she wouldn’t make a statement like that. Please. She very clearly said she wanted botox injections for his anus. Because pooing is so smelly and unbecoming! With her steady diet of cocaine and martinis, she probably hasn’t taken a real dump in years. Unless you count “Basic Instict 2″ or “Catwoman.” I’m pretty sure you’d have to wipe after making those pieces of shit.
It was reported yesterday that actress Sharon Stone will not be regaining custody of her 8-year-old son Roan. Extra says
Roan will remain at [Sharon's ex-husband Phil] Bronstein’s home as his primary residence. Stone will have visitation one weekend a month and have Roan on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
But she’s the mom, right? Why wouldn’t she have primary custody? Let’s see… oh, right — because she’s fucking insane. TMZ reports
The judge [in her custody case] notes, “Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan.” In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but “there was no evidence to support this allegation.”
“Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child.”
Oh, come on. They’re not even being fair! There’s no mention of the other alternative treatments Sharon suggested for Roan anywhere in those stupid documents. It wasn’t just Botox, you know (even though that one is clearly the most obvious solution). There were several other perfectly logical remedies she considered. She even made a list. Luckily, I obtained it for you:
SHARON STONE’S TOP TEN ALTERNATIVE ROAN FOOT TREATMENTS:
10. Butter and pan-searing
9. Two words: potato peeler
8. Bathe them in the tears of a hundred Pyreneese virgin gypsies on the night of a full moon
7. Hot coal walk
6. Two-priest exorcism with Holy Water
5. Surgically replace all the sweat gland in the foot with tiny air fresheners
4. Battery acid — rinse and repeat
3. Pills, pills, and more pills!!!
2. Hypnotherapy
and the number one alternative foot treatment she considered for Roan:
1. Just saw ‘em off at the ankle
Nippin out in L.A. last month:
Bonus beaver shots:
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