Larry King and Shawn Southwick have temporarily halted all legal activity in their divorce proceedings for the next two weeks, probably because that’s how long it takes for Larry’s Metamucil to kick in and produce a bowel movement. TMZ says

Larry’s attorney [said], “Larry and Shawn met with the counselor today. It was decided that there will be no divorce activity for 2 weeks as several issues need to be discussed and resolved.”

[It should be noted that] Larry and Shawn have not withdrawn their respective petitions for divorce — they’ve simply decided to refrain from making any legal moves.

But Larry might change his tune when he finds out his wife has been bagging the kids’ little league coach (MySpace profile pic here) the whole time he was helping him with his “acting” career. Radar Online says

[Baseball coach] Hector Penate grew extremely close to the family, with the children “idolizing” him and the Kings taking him everywhere with them, including on shopping trips and amusement park visits.

But he was having an affair with Shawn.

Penate confirmed the affair with Shawn in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. When asked if Shawn had discussed divorcing Larry, he answered, “All the time… Don’t worry, he’s going to die soon.”

Shawn was attempting to hook up Hector with her husband’s agent and Larry was also helping. “Larry was more concerned with his kids’ baseball careers, so he was willing to help out Hector to keep him happy. [Hector] was with the family almost every day.”

I’d think it was kind of weird if my coach started hanging out with my family all the time, but then again, I thought it was weird when my coach wanted me to stick around after practice so he could give me wine coolers and pull down my pants in the equipment closet. I guess that’s just what they mean when they say “Coaches touch so many lives.”

Not only does Larry King NOT have a prenup with estranged wife Shawn Southwick, he also signed away the rights to his Beverly Hills mansion and two homes in Utah five years ago (that would be the first time Shawn accused him of boning her sister). TMZ says of the non-existent prenup:

Sources tell us Larry — who was married 7 times before tying the knot with Shawn — did not demand a prenup. As one source close to the situation [said], “She is a tall, good-looking blonde and that pretty much explains it.”

In California, earnings accumulated during a marriage are split 50/50. Larry’s net worth is reportedly estimated at $144 million.

And of the homes he signed over to his estranged wife:

Several years ago Shawn accused Larry of having an affair with her sister, Shannon Engemann. Shawn threatened to leak the story to the media unless Larry signed a document giving up his interest in their Beverly Hills estate, along with two other homes in Utah.

Larry took the document to his attorney, who ordered him not to sign it. Larry [then] went to Shawn’s lawyer, and that attorney eventually gave Larry the green light to sign the agreement.

Larry will try to undo the agreement in divorce court [by claiming] “undue influence” — that Shawn bullied Larry into sitting down with a former partner of her lawyer who told him it was okay to sign the agreement.

When Larry asked his lawyers what legal position he should take regarding undue influence, his attorneys reportedly said, “bent over with your ass cheeks spread, you dumbass.” They were married for thirteen years. Dude is completely fucked.

Legally dead Larry “Pegleg” King is getting divorced for the eighth time, this time from his pill-popping train wreck of a wife Shawn Southwick. TMZ says

Larry King and Shawn Southwick filed for divorce [yesterday] after an explosive argument at their home in Beverly Hills.

We’re told the marriage fell apart over allegations of infidelity. Sources say Shawn is accusing Larry of having an affair with one of her close relatives.

And that “close relative” would be none other than her younger sister:

Larry King’s marriage fell apart in large part because Shawn Southwick believes Larry is having an affair with her sister, Shannon Engemann.

Shannon says Shawn has been accusing her of fooling around with Larry for months. She says Shawn has repeatedly pointed to the fact that Larry gave Shannon numerous gifts… [including] a $160,000 car [and a Cartier necklace].

Shannon [said], “I did not have an affair with Larry. He’s been like a father to me.”

I always thought that old people having sex with a myth, like the Chupacabra or the Holocaust. It just seems logistically impossible. Like trying to drill a hollowed-out prune with a lukewarm wad of ricotta cheese. It defies every fundamental law of physics.


PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

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