Shia LaBeouf Not To Blame For Accident

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Although Shia LaBeouf was drunk the night of his accident, he was ultimately not responsible for the crash. TMZ says

Detectives have determined that the other driver in Shia’s bust-up Sunday morning ran a red light, and that person is responsible for the crash, not LaBeouf. “He was not at fault,” says L.A. Sheriff’s spokesman.

The spokesman went on to say, “He is also not at fault for ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.’ That unfortunate incident was all George Lucas’ doing. We will consider acts of vigilante justice as ‘civic duty.’ That goes double for Episode I.”

The Guy from ‘Transformers’ Drunk at Walgreens

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Because the last name ‘LeBouef’ is a only few letters shy of “Little Bunny Foo-Foo” and closer still to “LeFuckface,” “Transformers” star Shia LeBouef found himself in police custody yesterday morning after refusing to leave a Chicago-area Walgreen’s. According to Us Weekly

Shia LaBeouf was arrested for trespassing [at Walgreen's] early Sunday morning. The actor, 21, reportedly ignored repeated requests from a security guard to leave the store and was taken to the city’s Near North police district around 2:25 a.m. (The Walgreen’s guard also filed a complaint against the actor.) A source [says] that LaBeouf was partying with friends at Chicago hot spot The Underground shortly before his arrest. LaBeouf was cited on a misdemeanor count of trespassing… and is due in court November 28.

Pregnant ladies, Shia here is reason enough to carefully reconsider what you’re planning on naming your unborn child. Charles “Chas” Whitfield Wellington the Third might sound nice on paper, but attach it to a kid and youngsters everywhere are instantly overwhelmed with the urge to stuff his stupid smarmy face in the cafeteria trashcan and then pour glue in his hair. Suffice it to say you might as well name your baby “Fagonious McQueerpuff” or “Punchmeinthekidneys Smith.” What you want to do when choosing a name is go with as few syllables as possible. A lot of hard consonants, too. You want the name to name to be the spoken language equivalent of a punch in the face. Tex McGruff, for example. Bam bam. See how that works? Rock Strongbottom. Flex Toughman. Rick Rude. In comparison, the name “Shia LeBeouf” is the spoken word equivalent of being pelted with a marshmallow by some string-beany looking guy arguing with a drugstore rent-a-cop. Besides, everybody knows “beouf” is just another word for “getting tagged in the butt” anyway. Don’t make the same mistake his mother did!

The whole mug shot, plus ‘Transformers’ co-star Megan Fox at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week:

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