25-year-old Shia LeBeouf can’t hold his liquor for shit (see here and here), but he still makes it a point to get belligerently drunk wherever he goes. Including Canada, where he’s currently filming “The Company You Keep” and getting his ass kicked in street fights. Radar Online says:

The actor managed to get in not one, but three fights in the early hours of Friday morning. According to an eyewitness, Shia appeared visibly drunk.

“He got into a confrontation with a couple of people,” the witness said. “He took a few punches to the face. He was obviously pretty intoxicated.”

Shia had to pulled away from a bar patron by security when the pair clashed inside the Cinema Public House just after 12:30 a.m. However, once outside, the patron ripped off his shirt and unleashed a one sided attack on the star.

[The patron] ran up to Shia hitting him to the ground with at least three punches to his head… then Shia just put his hands up and gave up,” the witness said.

Photos taken over the weekend [show] a sore and sorry Shia sporting grazes and swelling to his left side of his face.

He gets drunk, starts fights, and then gets his ass kicked. So what. That’s every Christmas I ever had growing up. In other dumbassery-related news, rapper Soulja Boy was arrested in Georgia this morning after cops pulled him over for a traffic violation and found a shitload of weed, guns and cash in the car. TMZ says:

21-year-old rapper — real name DeAndre Cortez Way — was popped early this morning by Temple Police Department officers in Temple, GA at 3:15 AM.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Soulja was riding in an Escalade with 4 other men, which was originally pulled over for a traffic violation.

We’re told … during the stop, cops found a “substantial amount” of marijuana and cash inside the vehicle.” Soulja and the 4 other men were all arrested. Soulja is still being held in Carrol County Jail.

Law enforcement sources tell us officers also found guns inside the car — though it’s unclear if any of the men had the proper licenses to be in possession of the firearms. We’re told an investigation is underway.

One source with knowledge of the situation tells us there was roughly $70,000 in cash and drugs in the car. all 5 men were arrested on charges of possession of marijuana, possession with intent to distribute, and possession of a firearm during the commission of a crime.

Boy, what are the odds that a Cadillac Escolade full of black guys would yield a cache of illegal weapons and drugs? That almost never happens!

In his interview with Details magazine, Shia LaBeouf claimed he hooked up with co-star Megan Fox while they were shooting the Transformers movies. I called bullshit on him, but it turns out he was telling the truth after all. And as for Megan’s now-husband Brian Austin Green, it seems at the time, they had briefly gone their separate ways, leaving the door wide open for Shia. Us Magazine says:

“Yes, Megan and Shia hooked up,” a set source confirms.

“But It was when Megan and Brian broke up,” the source explains. “They had a 10-month break before getting back together.” (Indeed, Fox and Green, 36, did have a break of nearly a year before reuniting and eventually tying the knot in June 2010.)

So Megan’s defense is “we were on a break?” It didn’t work for Ross Geller, and it doesn’t work now. It’s almost as bad as recycling a running gag from “Friends.” I think we both should be ashamed.

I would read Cat Fancy or Progressive Grocer before I ever picked up a copy of any magazine that claimed Shia LaBeouf was “the most honest and complex actor alive,” but Details does just that in their latest issue. In the interview, Shia bitches, moans, pisses and complains no less than 17 times before claiming he boned Megan Fox in the next-to-last paragraph. Always wanna end on a high note, those honest and complex types. Details says:

Asked if he hooked up with Fox, LaBeouf nods affirmatively. “Look, you’re on the set for six months, with someone who’s rooting to be attracted to you, and you’re rooting to be attracted to them,” he explains. “I never understood the separation of work and life in that situation. But the time I spent with Megan was our own thing, and I think you can see the chemistry onscreen.”

When I inquire about Fox’s status at the time with her longtime boyfriend, Brian Austin Green, LaBeouf replies, “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know,” repeating the phrase exactly 12 times with various intonations, as if trying to get it just right. Finally, he says, “It was what it was.”

If you had banged Megan Fox, you’d be shouting it from the damn rooftops, not shaking your head in befuddlement before coming up with some infuriatingly evasive cliche like “it was what it was.” That’s the kind of cop-out answer that falls under the heading “Vague and Nondescript Answers You Give Your Buddies When You Get Denied,” along with such favorites as “well, stuff happened” and “sorry, but I don’t kiss and tell.”

PHOTO SOURCE: Details Magazine

Although Shia LaBeouf was drunk the night of his accident, he was ultimately not responsible for the crash. TMZ says

Detectives have determined that the other driver in Shia’s bust-up Sunday morning ran a red light, and that person is responsible for the crash, not LaBeouf. “He was not at fault,” says L.A. Sheriff’s spokesman.

The spokesman went on to say, “He is also not at fault for ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.’ That unfortunate incident was all George Lucas’ doing. We will consider acts of vigilante justice as ‘civic duty.’ That goes double for Episode I.”

Because the last name ‘LeBouef’ is a only few letters shy of “Little Bunny Foo-Foo” and closer still to “LeFuckface,” “Transformers” star Shia LeBouef found himself in police custody yesterday morning after refusing to leave a Chicago-area Walgreen’s. According to Us Weekly

Shia LaBeouf was arrested for trespassing [at Walgreen's] early Sunday morning. The actor, 21, reportedly ignored repeated requests from a security guard to leave the store and was taken to the city’s Near North police district around 2:25 a.m. (The Walgreen’s guard also filed a complaint against the actor.) A source [says] that LaBeouf was partying with friends at Chicago hot spot The Underground shortly before his arrest. LaBeouf was cited on a misdemeanor count of trespassing… and is due in court November 28.

Pregnant ladies, Shia here is reason enough to carefully reconsider what you’re planning on naming your unborn child. Charles “Chas” Whitfield Wellington the Third might sound nice on paper, but attach it to a kid and youngsters everywhere are instantly overwhelmed with the urge to stuff his stupid smarmy face in the cafeteria trashcan and then pour glue in his hair. Suffice it to say you might as well name your baby “Fagonious McQueerpuff” or “Punchmeinthekidneys Smith.” What you want to do when choosing a name is go with as few syllables as possible. A lot of hard consonants, too. You want the name to name to be the spoken language equivalent of a punch in the face. Tex McGruff, for example. Bam bam. See how that works? Rock Strongbottom. Flex Toughman. Rick Rude. In comparison, the name “Shia LeBeouf” is the spoken word equivalent of being pelted with a marshmallow by some string-beany looking guy arguing with a drugstore rent-a-cop. Besides, everybody knows “beouf” is just another word for “getting tagged in the butt” anyway. Don’t make the same mistake his mother did!

The whole mug shot, plus ‘Transformers’ co-star Megan Fox at Mercedes Benz Fashion Week: