Brad Pitt looked like a pretentious asswipe when he showed up to the Spanish premiere of Inglorious Basterds in a pair of monogrammed slippers. Still, I don’t think we should just jump to conclusions without giving him a chance to explain himself. For all we know, that BP could stand for “Butt Plug.” Or “Ball-less Puss.” It is Brad Pitt we’re talking about, after all.

With director Quention Tarantino:

Singer Rihanna took the field at BET’s ‘106 & Park’ in New York yesterday with a new tousled bob and dressed to the nines. And by “to the nines” I of course mean “like a Navajo hooker at soccer practice.” GOOOOAAL!!

Don’t get me wrong — I love a good FM boot or S&M inspired heel. Unfortunately, there is nothing good about today’s Name That Celebrity footwear. Somewhere in between “ankle boot” and “gladiator sandal,” the mystery shoe looks like it started off as a dominatrix heel for Rihanna but then was half-assedly cobbled together for actress Sienna Miller. And if it’s for Sienna Miller, it’s safe to assume the pouches for condoms and coke are hidden somewhere inside the heel. Because she’s a slut who likes drugs, you see. Zing!

The big reveal after the jump!

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Here’s a Name That Celebrity you aren’t likely to get right away, namely because it isn’t Britney Spears, Britney Spears, or Britney Spears. Today’s mystery celebrity boasts a size 11 1/2 shoe. And boy, what a shoe. It’s the kind of shoe that ought to be flung from the foot of a post-op tranny in a fringed satin mini-dress and rhinestone eyelashes doing a high kick as he belts out the chorus to “I Will Survive.” But mostly, it should be on the foot of someone born with balls. It’s not. Find out Big Foot’s true identity after the jump!

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