Oct 27, 2009
Former model Samantha Burke unveiled the five-week old results of her one-night stand with actor Jude Law in an exclusive interview with this week’s Hello! magazine. The Daily Mail says
Miss Burke, who reportedly earned $300,000 for the Hello! photoshoot, said: ‘I think [Jude will] fall in love with her when he sees her. She has his chin and nose, and she does a little pout that I notice that he’s done before.”
But Miss Burke [admitted that] he has not yet traveled to meet Sophia.
Asked if she had received any presents from Jude, who demanded a DNA test a few months ago, the former model [said], ‘No, nothing.’
Unless you count the genital herpes she got from him ten months ago, but I wouldn’t really call that a present per se. It’s not like you can return it at a department store. But fortunately, you can always re-gift it!
Jude playing soccer with his legitimate children:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin
Sep 18, 2009
Actress and former face of Lancome cosmetics Uma Thurman attempts “bordello sexy” in a spread for next months’ W magazine. The Daily Mail says
The 39-year-old smoulders on a couch clad in a feathered stole, and black stockings and suspenders in a photoshoot for W magazine.
The 39-year-old looks like a tragic actress on the way down the greasy pole of celebrity.
“Greasy pole of celebrity?” Funny, I always just called him “Mickey Rourke.” To each his own, I guess.
Bonus pics of Kim Kardashian in — what else? — a bikini:
Aug 5, 2009
Dad always used to say, “It’s amazing what a little makeup and a shave can do for a gal.” Of course, he was talking about the tranny prostitute he was arrested for soliciting, but I think it still applies here.
Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle all clean-shaven for next month’s Harper’s Bazaar:
Jun 19, 2009
I don’t know who Olivia Munn is or what she does per se, but the words near her tits reference the term “G4,” and my vast knowledge of the current political landscape would suggest she’s either a spy for the G4 leadership core of the World Trade Organization’s G20 trade bloc, or else she’s a Serbian G4 Super Galeb pilot-in-training. Either way, it’s pretty clear she poses a real threat to American security. Why else do you think they’d make her strip down and take pictures of her like that? And to think, you commies actually made them shut down Abu Ghraib! I bet you’re thanking George Bush now, aren’t you?
