Peaches Geldof Shoplifted a Dress

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Proving that celebrities aren’t the brightest crayons in the box, Peaches Geldof hasn’t learned from her fellow retards and has been accused of pinching a designer dress. Says Celebrity Fix,

Peaches Geldof has been accused of stealing a dress from a London fashion store. Last night UK detectives were waiting to question her after staff at the Three Amigos store in London claimed that she’d shoplifted the garment.

The designer dress went missing after the 22-year-old socialite paid a visit to the store and the police were contacted after Peaches didn’t return phone calls from the store’s owners, The Daily Mail reports.

A police spokesperson said, “We can confirm police have received an allegation of theft. It is alleged that on March 4 a woman stole a dress from a shop in Camden Road. Officers are investigating the alleged theft.”

But a spokesperson for Peaches says she wasn’t even near the store on the day in question. “On the afternoon of March 4 Peaches was picked up from her home address at 1.15pm and taken to a voiceover studio in SE1 where she spent two and a half hours.

“Peaches knows nothing about this incident which we strenuously deny.”

Peaches has been accused of stealing clothing from shops and photo shoots at least three times in the past, though criminal charges have never been laid.

She’s never had criminal charges brought against her only because the accusers got paid off. That’s what happens when you’re famous for really nothing special but have money anyway. Which should have enabled her to you know, buy all those things instead of stealing them. But I suppose when you’re a celebrity and not fit anymore to hold a real job, you’ve got to do things like that for shits and giggles.

From back in December:

Bai Ling Arrested For Shoplifting

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Attention whore Bai Ling was arrested for shoplifting from an airport gift shop earlier this week. You may remember Bai Ling from such hits as “She Hate Me” and “My Baby’s Daddy” and her signature “injured pelican” moves on the dance floor. What could have led such an obviously talented girl to steal in the first place, you ask? Why, a relationship gone sour, of course. According to People magazine

The 37-year-old former Playmate was arrested Wednesday at Los Angeles International Airport after reportedly shoplifting $16 worth of celebrity magazines and batteries from a terminal convenience store. It was an “emotionally crazy” day, she explained to E! News on Thursday. She was coping with the “huge problem of breaking up [before] Valentine’s Day,” [adding], “Wrong boyfriend.”

It’s a relief to know she wasn’t wrongfully arrested. I just assumed she’d wandered too close to a display stand in the shop and — unbeknownst to her — lanced a couple of magazines and a pack of batteries with those (NSFW) monstrously long nipples of hers. Seriously, she’s like the saber-tooth tiger of nipples. But as Gary Coleman once said, “It’s hard to be a three-inch long nipple in a quarter-inch nipple world.” Side note: that quote also makes for an unforgettable toast at your sister’s wedding. Cheers!