You may have spent your weekend gorging yourself on jelly beans and Cadbury Eggs and spending time with your family, but Lindsay Lohan had bigger fish to fry. Namely, going clubbing and shoving girls for daring to talk to one of her guy friends. Also known as to the rest of the world, junior high school. TMZ reports,

Lindsay Lohan has been off formal probation for less than two weeks and she’s already being accused of getting into an altercation with a woman in a nightclub earlier this week … TMZ has learned.

According to our sources, a woman filed an incident report ALLEGING BATTERY with the West Hollywood Sheriff’s Department last night. We’re told the woman claims Lindsay got into it with her at a nightclub on Thursday night. She claims Lindsay did not like the fact she was talking to a male friend of LiLo’s … and began pushing and shoving her.

Law enforcement sources say they will investigate the woman’s claims — like they would any other incident like this — to determine their validity.

Lindsay’s rep, Steve Honig, tells TMZ, “Lindsay was absolutely not involved in any sort of altercation whatsoever. This is clearly another case of someone looking for money and 15 minutes of fame.”

I like how outraged her rep sounds. He acts like his client isn’t a serial fuck-up. I’d be more inclined to believe him if he just said, “Hey, I know Lindsay keeps on screwing up, so I don’t blame you for thinking this is true, but this time she really didn’t do anything.” Otherwise you end up looking like an idiot by getting all huffy. It’s like when I accused my boyfriend of using me as a beard. Acting indignant when you get caught blowing the gardener just doesn’t ring true.

On on Friday night in Los Angeles:

Cops were called to Paris Hilton’s house late Tuesday night after she got into a drunken shoving match with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt in the middle of her driveway. But of course, Paris is claiming it was all just a misunderstanding on the part of the LAPD. She told TMZ

“Doug and I were in bed, sound asleep, when Doug’s houseguests from hell got into an argument. We had nothing to do with it. Doug told the LAPD that his guests’ fight was over and that we had nothing to do with it.”

Except that’s not how the neighbors remember it, because it’s not what actually happened:

A neighbor [witnessed] Paris in her driveway screaming at Doug and watched as the two engaged in a mutual shoving match. And then there’s the LAPD, who tells us after arriving they actually made Paris get out of bed so they could check for injuries.

Well, she’s clearly lying. Cops don’t usually frisk you for something someone else did. Unless you’re a black man driving an expensive car, in which case it really goes without saying.

Launching her new hair tool “The Celebrity Styler” with sister Nicky:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News