Britney Spears‘ performing style hasn’t changed much since she first arrived on the music scene, which is unfortunate because instead of looking like a young, sexy siren, she reminds me more of those times when my mom would get drunk and strip down to her underwear and sing karaoke in our living room. Believe me, it made for an awkward situation in front of the TV repair man. This too, makes for an awkward situation. I don’t know if Britney is shimmying around because she’s performing her dance moves, or she’s trying to pass through that load of fish and chips, figs and prunes she ingested backstage. Says the Daily Mail:

According to sources on the tour, Britney asked for portions of fish and chips and 100 figs and prunes.

Insiders have also claimed that the singer requested a photo of Princess Diana backstage at her UK gigs.

‘Britney adores the monarchy, Diana was in many ways her inspiration. Also, she doesn’t count calories when she’s in Britain,’ said the source.

Newsflash! From the looks of things, she doesn’t count calories stateside, either.

Here’s one of your favorite people you love to hate, Lady Gaga performing at G-A-Y at Heaven in London, in more stupid costumes. I’m so appreciative that she was nice enough to use a big triangle to point out that the crotch of her fishnets hanging out, otherwise I might have missed it in all the sparkle and ruffles. All her ridiculous costumes are like smoke and mirrors to distract you away from the fact that her music sucks, but it doesn’t quite work. Kind of like how when you take a big stinky dump and try to cover it up with some Glade, but then it just ends up smelling like hot flowery ass.

Making her gay fans squeal like little girls: