Spackled clown-face Christina Aguilera attempted to sing the National Anthem yesterday during the Super Bowl, but screwed up the lyrics. Says Us Weekly,
Singing the tune live, Aguilera, 30, was four lines into her rendition when she sang the words “what so proudly we watched” instead of the correct lyrics, “o’er the ramparts we watched.” (Watch a clip above)
“I have been performing the anthem since I was seven years old and I must say the Super Bowl is a dream come true,” Aguilera has said of earning the honor to perform during Sunday’s showdown against the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers. “I am really excited to be part of such an iconic event.”
Too bad she was so focused on running up and down scales to remember the correct words. I’m just surprised she didn’t grab some girl to tongue, throw in a “ooh baby baby” and piss on the flag while she was at it.
Denise Richards absolutely butchered “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Cubs game charity event over the weekend. Ho-ly shit. She’s unbelievably bad. You half-expect to see glasses shattering and windows splintering as they pan over the stadium crowd. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the age-old question that has plagued non-veterinarians for centuries: what does a cat being neutered sounds like? Now you’ll never have to wonder again!
Denise’s Funny or Die Funbags commercial after the jump
In case you don’t have enough reasons not to watch American Idol, here’s another one: Teri Hatcher. According to Rush and Molloy
You’ve been forewarned: Teri Hatcher will sing on the “American Idol Gives Back” special to air next Wednesday. She’ll back up The Band From TV, which includes her “Desperate Housewives” co-star Jamie Denton, “House’s” Hugh Laurie, “Heroes’” Greg Grunberg and “Cashmere Mafia’s” Bonnie Somerville.
Who knew Teri Hatcher was a woman of so many talents? I don’t mean her acting, obviously, but rather her natural ability to withstand enough botulinum poison to fell a small horse and her proficiency for vomiting on command. Usually those sorts of gifts are relegated to cancer patients undergoing radiation and the Elementals like Mana Surge and Entropic Beasts. You’re probably thinking, “What about the Fel Reaver guardian in the Eye of Tempest Keep, smartypants?” Well, it should be noted that Void Reaver doesn’t count because he is not immune to the poison from Romulo’s Vial since it’s considered a Nature Damage Effect and not a Poison Effect. It should also be noted that I am a virgin and incredibly lonely.
