After dating Jamie Kennedy for almost a year, Jennifer Love Hewitt is now single again. People Magazine says
Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy have broken up.
Though some called them an unlikely couple, Kennedy and Hewitt regularly gushed over each other.
Kennedy told Ryan Seacrest [in 2009], “I’m in love! It’s like, ‘Wow, you are hot. You can sing, you can dance, you’re like, so smart and, wow, you can cook pasta fagioli, too.’”
Yes, but can she cook that pasta fagioli in a thong?Adrianne Curry sure can (see NSFW evidence by clicking the image above), and she’s actually married. Maybe that irrational need for pants is weighing you down in more ways than one, ladies.
Jennifer not showing her ass (tsk, tsk) with Jamie at the Twilight premiere last year, plus some of her at the 100th episode of Ghost Whisperer:
Michael Jackson’s troubles continue to follow him even after death. Singer/songwriter Paul Anka accused Jackson of swiping the song that he co-wrote. Says ABC News,
Michael Jackson’s new single, “This Is It,” was barely out of the box this week before singer-songwriter Paul Anka claimed that he and Jackson co-wrote the song in 1983 under a different title, “I Never Heard.” Anka told TMZ that Jackson “stole the tapes” from Anka’s studio, where he and Jackson wrote and recorded the song. “They have a major, major problem on their hands. They will be sued if they don’t correct it,” Anka told The New York Times. Soon after Anka’s threat of legal action, record executive and producer Jon McClain called to acknowledge Anka’s co-authorship and promise “all due credit and royalties.” The estate also released a statement that said, in part, “The song was co-written by the legendary Paul Anka.”
Well, if this isn’t proof that whatever talent Michael had earlier in life left him as he grew older and more bizarre, I don’t know what is. You’d think that if he bothered to steal it, it’d actually be good. It’s bland, boring, and lacking in originality. Watch it yourself:
Shakira just unveiled the new hot-as-hell cover for her latest single, She Wolf. You know, it’s funny — they actually used to call me She-Wolf back in high school. Not because of my natural mystique and my solitary grace, though. Mostly because I had a unibrow and a mustache and could put away four trays of cafeteria meatloaf in one sitting. Yeah, I always fucking hated high school.
Megan Fox is not only jaw-droppingly gorgeous, she’s also a bonafide genius. Need proof? The Daily Mail says
She [says of] her ‘Brian’ tattoo – dedicated to on/off boyfriend Brian Austin Green: ‘I wouldn’t regret the tattoo if we weren’t together. I can always have a kid and name him Brian. There are options.’
That’s fucking brilliant. Now I just have to have a couple of kids and name them “Yosemite Sam” and “In Loving Memory: Bubba ‘Cooter’ Wallace 1973 — 1991 R.I.P.” and my lower back won’t seem so fucking stupid anymore.
Looking like a Grecian goddess at the L.A. premiere of Transformers:
“I’m single at the moment, and I’m completely happy with that,” she said Friday at the Hollywood Dominoes: VIP Launch in London. “It’s nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I’m cool with being on my own.”
Well, she might be cool with it, but I have a hunch her vagina isn’t. That thing can’t be stopped. It’s got a mind of its own. I give it a week before her labia unfurl like a couple Doc Ock arms to propel her through the street of downtown L.A. on a penis-hunting rampage, plowing over cars and smashing through windows in an attempt to grab savory males, then wielding them toward her puss with the intensity of an elephant using its trunk to stamp out a brush fire. Never before has carnage been so erotic! Rated R for nudity, sexual violence, and disturbing images.
At the Hollywood Dominos VIP launch in London Friday night:
Sienna Miller broke up with fiancé Rhys Ifans last weekend over her insatiable need for penis his jealousy issues. A source told The Sun:
“Things have been awkward for a while after she caught Rhys going through her text messages for ‘incriminating evidence’. He has been giving her a hard time lately, questioning her commitment to him. She compared him to a spotlight shining in her face all the time. She couldn’t… cope with his jealousy.
He is heartbroken they have split.”
Nothing could be as heartbreaking as that damn hairstyle of his. It’s like Rod Stewart and Quasimodo made a hair baby. Seriously, where do you even get that cut? Other than a bell tower in Notre Dame? I’m guessing you tell your stylist, “Think Jeff Daniels in ‘Dumb and Dumber.’ No, no — more disheveled! Try these pinking shears!” before just using a lighter to burn the ends off yourself.
Here’s the first single from Scarlett Johansson’s un-anticipated album, “Anywhere I Lay My Head” — a cover of Tom Waits’ classic “Falling Down.” It sounds like she set the mic on echo effect and did her best Gort from “The Day the Earth Stood Still” impression. It’s great if you’re into staccato machinized bleating. Otherwise, not so much. And if you happen to be a fan of staccato machinized bleating, you should really invest in a Murchland vacuum goat milker. It’s the Rolls-Royce of late 19th century milking machines! Available at Ephraim Buzzleworth’s Feed & Seed and other fine retailers circa 1892.
55 seconds is insufferable enough, but you can watch it in its entirety here.
