Things have apparently gotten rough for Miley Cyrus, because it’s obvious she has no money for new clothes. There’s no other reason for her stealing your mom’s jeans and making them into shorts, or for stealing her flannel shirt. I don’t know about the bustier-thing though; is your mom a slut, or what? God, I would be so embarrassed if I were you.
If you were wondering what would be the perfect accessory to go with stripper pirate boots and a tight, zippered mini-dress (besides the odor of urine and some weeping sores), you could always ask Bai Ling, who manages to keep the outfit from being full-on “hooker’s uniform” with a ladylike hat. Everyone knows that wearing a hat with feathers and netting gives you a certain air of decorum and respectability. After all, a hooker would never wear a hat like that. Everyone knows that hats have a tendency to fall off during blowjobs.
After the “pumpkin patch incident” earlier this week where she got kicked out for acting like a total slut, Courtney Stodden along with creepy pedophile husband Doug Hutchinson slurred her way through an explanation of what really went down when she sat down with Dr. Drew.(the other moms were jealous). Says Daily Mail,
Her upcoming appearance on Dr. Drew is designed to explain her racy Pumpkin Patch appearance last weekend.
But Courtney Stodden appears to make matters worse for herself as she slurs her way through the interview on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers, alongside her 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchinson.
In a sneak preview of the sit-down, the 17-year-old is seen with garbled speech and consistently fidgets as she perches herself on the addiction medicine specialist’s couch.
Dressed in a revealing pink mini dress, her behaviour can only be described as odd.
Even Doug himself is forced to interject at numerous times, when the teen bride attempts to speak on her own behalf.
In the clip, the pair explain the incident, which lead to the teenage bride being asked to leave the PG13 event after furious parents complained about her inappropriate behavior.
Doug confirms that they were indeed kicked out of the event.
‘One thing about the pumpkin patch fiasco; we were kicked off the pumpkin patch,’ Doug explains.
‘We went to pick out pumpkins the other day… Courtney was dressed as you saw her in sort of the Daisy Duke like thing.’
‘Was she kicked out for the attire?’ asks Drew.
As Doug repeats the question and before he can answer Drew, Courtney interjects. Posing and pouting, she is seen slurring her words.
‘The women were coming up to the manager and complaining,’ she says .
‘Because of the kids?’ Drew asks.
‘Because of the kids,’ Courtney replies sarcastically, making quotation mark gestures with her fingers as she sways back and forth on the couch.
Doug is then seen once again taking over, with the occasion clap and ‘woo-hew’ thrown in by Courtney.
The Green Mile actor tells Drew that there were people at the patch who were enjoying their appearance.
‘And their cleavage was hanging out quit a bit,’ Courtney once again butts in.
Courtney was asked to leave the pumpkin patch in Valencia, California last weekend, due to her inappropriate attire and behaviour.
“Pumpkin patch princess”, huh? Someone should really pitch the idea to Disney. Their lineup of Disney Princesses is really lacking in PVC boots, silicone and Parkinson’s-like movements.
Here’s Sandra Bullock at the 2011 amfAR Inspiration Gala, doing “frosted eyeshadow” right:
I see London, I see France, Miley Cyrus apparently waxes for her shows. I know, that doesn’t even rhyme, but just work with me here. I’m a fill-in blogger, not a god damned poet. At Sunday’s MuchMuch Video Awards in Toronto, Miley almost showed Canada what an American Shaved Beaver looks like. Says Us Magazine,
Days after declaring “I’m not trying to be ‘slutty,’” Miley Cyrus turned heads Sunday at the MuchMusic Video Awards in Toronto by performing in a skin-baring black leotard, complete with black leather short shorts.
“I think that’s fine, she told UsMagazine.com of her outfit. “I just love performing. I definitely just feel most comfortable. I don’t take myself too seriously. We are up there just dressing up; we are just having fun. It’s about the girls and guys who are living their dream playing dress up. I don’t walk around in a bikini and bright red lipstick all the time. Cause that’s just who you are when you are performing and what goes into that song.”
Cyrus covered up slightly more for her next performance, hitting the stage in a white leotard to sing her new single “Can’t Be Tamed.” But Britain’s Daily Mail noted that the getup was “so tight, she nearly exposed a bit too much to those in the front row.
Cyrus (who won International Video Of The Year by an Artist for “Party in the U.S.A.”) has come under fire for not wearing a lot while she performs.
She stands by her outfits.
“I feel more comfortable dressing with a little less, which is just how I’ve always been…” she recently told The Associated Press. “Now I’m able to do that a little more freely and, also, I’ve just grown up to be this way too. It’s not like this was me five years ago. It’s me now, presently.
“When you’re 11, the word you would use to describe someone is definitely not sexy, and as you get older I think you grow into that,” the Hannah Montana star went on. “And I think I’ve done that but that’s not my schtick. That’s not what I’m trying to do to sell records. I want people to buy my record because of my music.”
Gee, I remember when “performing” meant that you didn’t need a million costume changes and lights and pyrotechnics and lip syncing and fog machines and vajay-jays hanging out and oh yeah, what was it–a good voice and crazier still–writing your own music to sell albums. Now it’s all smoke and mirrors to hide the fact that you’re a mediocre singer and on top of that, you look slightly speshul which is even creepier now that you’re dressing like a tramp and have your makeup gun set to “whore”. And we can’t have Miley looking like a mentally disabled whore. The shame of masturbating to a retard almost outweighs the pleasure. Almost.
Costume changes, lights and industrial fans, oh my!
Miley Cyrus thinks everyone’s ridiculous for making a fuss about her simulated kiss on TV, then makes things even better by dressing like a hooker during her latest performance in London. Us Magazine quotes Miley as saying,
“I performed ‘Can’t Be Tamed’ this week on one of my favorite shows here in the UK Britian’s Got Talent. Which is totally true, there were some amazinnnggg acts (but of course no one could focus on that.) I had such a blast and was so honored to be on that stage. That being said during my performance I supposedly ‘KISSED A GIRL’ and this is the newest thing to cause controversy.
“I promise you I did not kiss her and it is ridiculous that two entertainers cant even rock out with each other without the media making it some type of story. I really hope my fans are not disappointed in me because the truth is I did nothing wrong. I got up there and did my job which is to perform to the best of my ability. I just want to put an end to this right now and just say one thing to everyone out there making this performance such a big deal.
“GET OVER IT! NOTHING HAPPENED. THERE ARE WAYYYYYYY MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN THE WORLD. Let’s start focusing a little less on making up ignorant rumors and focus a little more on world peace! We gotta a lot of work to do if we wan this earth to be here much longer. Let’s make a change! It wouldn’t hurt the world to show a little more love. X M”
Hey guys, it wasn’t for realsies, so it’s okay. Dressing like an underage hooker is just her job! Let’s show the world more love by doing a little bump-n-grind with the backup dancers, ‘kay? That’s the way they settle things in Kentucky! Yee-haw!
The Really Unfortunate Looking Cyrus, a.k.a. Noah Cyrus, thinks it’s about time for your young daughters to be able to look like a mini hooker too! Says Star Magazine:
Miley’s little sister is teaming up with her bestie Emily Grace Reaves, 9, to launch a clothing line for Ooh! La, La! Couture. The line will be called the Emily Grace Collection but both girls will wear the designs on their YouTube series Noie & Ems, touring with Miley and on the red carpet.
“Emily is launching the clothing line along with her BFF and costar Noah Cyrus,” the press release states. And the pieces promise to have a “trendy, sweet, yet edgy feel.”
In a clip on their YouTube channel, Noah and Emily show off their outfits to Miley backstage at one of her tour stops. Noah is wearing a tank top, black tulle skirt and argyle socks while Emily is decked out in a leopard print ensemble with fishnets.
“I want one of those,” Miley says to Emily in the clip.
Did you read that? Fishnets on a 9 year old girl. It’s really creepy to see them with their little miniature hats perched on their heads like they’re in a burlesque show or something. I wouldn’t be surprised if their line had thongs and black lace underwire training bras. Bleh.
Noah Cyrus, ten-year-old sister of Miley Cyrus, has been on this site twice, both times for being creepy and disturbing (once for dressing like a child prostitute and once for appearing in a YouTube video singing and dancing to Akon’s “Smack That”). Not satisfied with freaking people out by acting like a preteen whore, Noah has moved on to singing about alcoholic partying, appearing in a YouTube video lip-synching (poorly) to Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” with an unidentified man.
This is creepy for many reasons, most of which involve the fact that this kid is TEN YEARS OLD. She should not be singing about brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack, trying to get a little tipsy, having plenty of beer, or getting crunk and having boys try to touch her junk. SHE’S TEN. Even in the Cyrus family, that shit can wait until she’s at least 12.
In other news, holy hell this is one unfortunate looking kid, huh? Miley’s kinda homely herself, but DAYUM her little sister is fug. And that’s some serious Hermione Granger hair she’s got going on. Your family’s got millions, kid. I think maybe they’d buy you a brush if you asked nicely.
Here are some great pictures of Miley Cyrus performing for thousands of her impressionable little tween fans and their idiotic parents. I still can’t believe that her parents, her DAD especially, is fine with his little girls dressing like tramps. I dunno, there may be something weird going on there. I won’t be surprised if later down the line if Miley reveals that she had a “very close” relationship with her dad. Yuck.
Here’s some charming video footage of up-and-coming whorelette Noah Cyrus doing her own version of Akon’s deeply inappropriate song “Smack That”. There to egg her on is daddy-approved pole-dancing big sister Miley. I swear, what the hell has happened to parenting? Everyone’s just fine and dandy with whoring out your kids to make some money. Where do we live, Viet-fucking-nam? At least there, when parents sell kids into sexual slavery, they’re usually doing it for money to buy food. Here? Um, a gold-plated shitter? A shiny new belt buckle the size of a dinner plate? Well I guess I’m expecting too much after they trotted her out looking like Roman Polanski’swet dream. They may have money, but when it comes down to it, the Cyruses are inbred, backwater hillbillies.
When I was nine, I dressed up as a fairy princess for Halloween. Miley Cyrus’ little sister Noah is apparently going with “coccinellid cocksucker” and “child prostitute with progeria” for her All Hallow’s Eve festivities. Perhaps Billy Ray will be taking her trick-or-treating at a local penitentiary or a hostel for registered sex offenders. There’s only so many good “back of an unmarked van’s” to hit up in any given neighborhood on Halloween, you know!
Now with even more kiddie-porn flava after the jump!
