I don’t know who Olivia Munn is or what she does per se, but the words near her tits reference the term “G4,” and my vast knowledge of the current political landscape would suggest she’s either a spy for the G4 leadership core of the World Trade Organization’s G20 trade bloc, or else she’s a Serbian G4 Super Galeb pilot-in-training. Either way, it’s pretty clear she poses a real threat to American security. Why else do you think they’d make her strip down and take pictures of her like that? And to think, you commies actually made them shut down Abu Ghraib! I bet you’re thanking George Bush now, aren’t you?

Everyone’s all excited about Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez’ photo shoot for next month’s GQ, but not because he looks like a gay porn star from 1974. It’s because his hot-ass girlfriend, Estee Lauder and Sports Illustrated model Hilary Rhoda, is wearing a bikini. You’re welcome.