Here’s one for the ladies, mainly myself, because it’s mah berfday today. I’d much rather prefer a naked Hugh Jackman or have Clive Owen glowering at me, telling me I’ve been a naughty little minx, but there is a shocking lack of male pap pictures, probably because they’re all a bunch of stupid men who like to take pictures of women. Anyhoooo, Channing Tatum to me is the equivalent of a vapid bimbo, who gets roles in movies because he’s pretty. But beggars can’t be choosers, so voilà! Here is Mr. Vanilla.

AnnaLynne McCord wore this little getup on the set of “90210″ yesterday, and it’s so nice that she had the foresight to preserve the modesty of her collarbone with that ginormous scarf.  In related news, it was apparently quite nippy in LA yesterday.  I bet AnnaLynne here could probably cut glass if she rubbed up against it.

Here’s one for mah girlzzz! Super-hot dad Hugh Jackman gives his daughter Ava a ride on those big, broad muscular shoulders…gaaaa…mmmm….*drool*. Oh I’m sorry, I was having my own personal moment there.

In Greenwich Village:

Looks like Amanda Bynes is all growed up in all the right places.  It’s kind of creepy though, because she has on the exact same smile as she does on the cover of the movies she did when she was a teenager. I mean, she’s 23, couldn’t she do more sexy, less sweet? I dunno. I suppose it’s all the same to you guys.

Miranda Kerr is nude in the February 2010 issue of GQ.  If you’re interested, some GQ drone did a sissified interview where he talked to Miranda about her yappy little dog, her jailbird ex-boyfriend, the unsexiness of Victoria’s Secret and whether Orlando Bloom gets lonely.  If you’re not a complete fruitcake, you can skip that bullshit and just look at more Miranda Kerr:

Keeley Hazell did a lovely little photo shoot as a promo for her new interactive video “Keeping Keeley”, sponsored by Lynx Effect (that’s Axe Body Spray to Americans).  We had exclusive behind-the-scenes footage from the video last week, as you probably recall.  Americans can’t watch the video, because that’s just the price which must be paid for having body sprays named after lumberjack tools instead of big cats (and also because the video is available exclusively to UK residents, who can watch it here).

But hey, quit crying your little bitch tears, Americans!  There’s a sub-par Yank consolation prize!  Here’s the trailer for “Keeping Keeley”:

And here’s the Axe Detailer video “Clean Your Balls” starring Jamie Pressly:

And in other sexy news, Abby will be back tomorrow (for realsies this time [I'm pretty sure]) so you can have a joyous reunion and finally stop cursing my name and wondering when the hell I’m gonna go away.  It’s been delightful, my dears!

Kisses,
Sarah

Keeley Hazell in a promo shoot for “Keeping Keeley”:

I don’t think any of these pictures are from the Victoria’s Secret 2010 Valentine’s Special we saw the other day.  I’m pretty sure these are just from their regular, non-Valentine swimwear and lingerie catalogue, not that any of you lot really give a shit one way or the other what the hell they’re for.  I’m sure all you care about is the fact that they feature Alessandra Ambrosio with very little fabric covering her naked flesh.

In other sexy news, Abby’s back from vacation early and will be re-joining you on Monday.  As always, it’s been a pleasure being with you these last few weeks, and I’ll see you again soon.

Kisses,
Sarah

Sweet Jesus, y’all.  Jessica Simpson went someplace yesterday and she did some stuff.  Or something.  I don’t really know, and it’s entirely beside the point anyway, because the point here is HOLY SWEET & SOUR JESUS her boobs are GINORMOUS.  How does she even remain upright?

So, apparently there’s this thing called the Victoria’s Secret 2010 Valentine’s Special.  I don’t really know what the hell that’s supposed to mean, exactly… maybe there’s a Lifetime movie sponsored by Victoria’s Secret, and it’s a heartwarming story of ladies swanning about in their knickers whilst eating fruit and squinting.  I don’t really know.  What I do know is that this Valentine’s Special involves Miranda Kerr, Candice Swanepoel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wearing lingerie, so I didn’t really ask any questions because I figured that’s plenty good enough for you lot.

Coco is built exactly like a blonde Jessica Rabbit, which I guess would make Ice-T a bunny with a speech impediment who has a seizure whenever anyone says, “Shave and a haircut.”  I don’t really have a point here, but I do have pictures of Coco on a boat from a photoshoot for… some damn thing.  I don’t know.  Probably an ad for silicone or industrial lubricant, I would imagine.

Ashley Greene is everywhere lately because ain’t no escaping any o’ them Twilight fools, but at least she’s better than Kristen Stewart.  Ashley doesn’t incessantly bite her lip like she’s trying to eat her own face from the inside out, and she also generally looks like she washes her hair at least once a week.  More importantly, Ashley has been slutting it up as hard as she can recently, which makes my job easier because you pervs are insatiable and it’s winter and the only other ladies flitting around half naked today are Victoria Silvstedt, who is an actual whore (as in literally a prostitute) and Rachel Zoe, who looks like she’s been dead since about 2006.

More photos from Ashley Greene’s “skinsuit” body paint shoot for SoBe Life Water, which will be featured in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (you can see a video of the shoot here):

Diane Kruger is almost incomprehensibly pretty.  Here she is at last night’s People’s Choice Awards, which were very boring, but Diane’s face is not boring.  I can’t decide how I feel about the dress.  It’s doing some weird smooshing thing over her chest and it kinda flattens her out, but it shows off her nine miles of leg very well, so I can’t hate it.  That dress is a clever bastard.