The former Mrs. Paul McCartney went on the offensive last week, hitting up both British and American television morning shows in an attempt to discredit “The Sun” and bash her ex-husband while comparing herself to Princess Diana. Her stepdaughter, fashion designer Stella McCartney, wasn’t one to take this one lying down. Page Six says

Stella McCartney is fighting back against her evil ex-stepmonster, Heather Mills. Last week, Mills told “Extra” that Stella did some “evil, evil things. She scraped my face out of a photo.” Now the fashion designer has created a jewelry line, and her first effort is a necklace featuring a single-leg pendant. The bauble costs $500 - a lot less than the $100 million Mills is looking to get from Paul.

Um… burn? I don’t know. Maybe Stella should have gone with a “Heather Mills is a dirty gold-digging cunt whore” written in gothic lettering necklace instead. Or maybe instead of a single leg, the pendant could have been Heather Mills’ face with the tongue hanging out and X’s where the eyes should be. Or a penis where the mouth should be. Maybe just the testicles. A vagina made entirely of dollars signs? Something that says (horribly NSFW) this, but with subtlety. Believe you me, encapsulating “what’s left of one’s dignity” in precious metals without being overt and cliché is no simple task. And if you think that’s hard, well, then, you should try animating it with interpretative dance! I’ve got almost no dignity at all, and so far all I’ve got is a couple of plies and a three-point crab walk followed by the sprinkler. I think I just need a little more time.

Heather not doing German porn with her daughter in August: