“Jon and Kate Plus Eight’s” Jon Gosselin has reportedly threatened to kill himself on multiple occasions — at least according to the nanny he was plowing a month ago. Radar Online says

The father-of-8 is a pressure cooker waiting to boil over, says the mother of his babysitter and former lover, Stephanie Santoro.

In a shocking exclusive interview, Marci Santoro confirmed her daughter’s sexual relationship with Jon and said Gosselin threatened to kill himself.

“He said that everybody would be better off without him and that his children would be better off if he wasn’t around anymore,” Marci [said]. “He said to her, ‘I’m just going to kill myself, I’m just going to end it all.’”

No, your death wouldn’t end it all, you tubby little shit. You’d still have that shrew of an ex-wife and your eight little bastards running around daddy-less, and TLC would milk that shit for ratings like it was a fucking dairy cow. No, if you really want to “end it all,” you’ve got to take out your entire family first and then kill yourself. See UFC fighter Justin Levens for details.

Douching it up with his bodyguard in New York: