It was revealed last month that Salma Hayek’s billionaire husband Francois Henri-Pinault was the mystery father of 90′s supermodel Linda Evangelista’s bastard child, and before you clutch your pearls and gasp with disbelief, you should know that little Augustin was not the product of an affair — he was conceived back in 2006 while Henri-Pinault and Salma were on a break. Long story short, Linda Evangelista is now demanding $46,000 a month in child support from her baby daddy. Us Magazine says:

Evangelista, 46, arrived at Manhattan family court on Monday to argue her case; Support Magistrate Matthew Troy called the request “the largest support order in the history of the Family Court.”

Evangelista’s lawyer argued that monthly sum — totaling $552,000 a year — would cover costs for round-the-clock nannies, drivers and security detail to keep little Augustin well-adjusted and safe.

Half a million dollars a year? I think that’s a bit much. I’m a mother, and I know firsthand that all you really need to keep a child “well-adjusted” and “safe” is a monthly WIC check, a Play Station 3, and the Cartoon Network. It’s up to the public school system to do the rest.

Linda Evangelista + the greatest supermodels of the 90′s — Helena Christensen, Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova, Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington, and Stephanie Seymour — in GQ Russia earlier this year:

The same hacker who’s gone after Vanessa Hudgens and released those nude photos has his sights set on a whole slew of other celebrities. They do realize that they wouldn’t have to worry about that if you know, they quit taking nude photos of themselves? Says TMZ,

TMZ broke the story … the FBI sat down with Vanessa Hudgens Wednesday for more than an hour to determine how her Gmail account got hacked.

We’re told 50 celebs had compromising photos and videos stolen by one group, and one of the ringleaders has his fingerprints on every job.

Our sources say the hackers’ primary motivation is the thrill and challenge of it all — not the money.

Law enforcement sources tell us the FBI is closing in on the hackers.

A further update reveals some of the names of those 50 celebrities:

We’ve learned the ring has hit the mobile and other devices of Jessica Alba, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Christina Aguilera. We’ve already told you the ring also stole pics and video from Vanessa Hudgens, Scarlett Johansson, Ali Larter, Busy Philipps, Miley Cyrus, Emma Caulfield, Addison Timlin and Renee Olstead.

I of course would never be involved in something so low as hacking into people’s electronic devices and stealing pictures. It’s just so impersonal. I prefer to dress in camo, stick leaves in my hair, climb a tree and use my high-powered telephoto lens camera to peep in celebrity houses. Anyone can sit behind a computer, but not everyone knows that sitting in a tree above a nest of fire ants isn’t a great idea. That’s real world experience, people!

Until some more of those nudie shots are released, here’s some pictures of Stephanie Seymour in a bikini:

42-year-old model/actress Stephanie Seymour is a dirty crook. The last time I saw a butt that round on a white woman, it was on a black woman bouncing around in a thong and stripper heels next to a rapper. It’s like the world got turned upside down. It’s usually the blacks that are stealing from white people, but in this case, lady is a booty thief! What’s next? The Mexicans here learning to speak English?

In St. Bart’s with her son:

I have no idea what former Victoria’s Secret model Stephanie Seymour is writing in the sand, but I’m guessing it’s not an Aramaic riddle foretelling the demise of the Babylonian Empire. Mostly because she’s not writing with a disembodied hand. I’m sure you noticed there were also boobs attached.

On vacation with her daughter Lilly Margaret this week: