Are these pictures really stills from former Miss California Carrie Prejean’s sex tape? I don’t know, and frankly, this isn’t CNN. All I can tell you is that I found them on the internet and the internet told me it was her. If it’s fancy “fact-checking” and “source verification” you want, you might try iamahugefaggot.com instead.

Click the puppies for mega-NSFW masturbation action:

^{Video courtesy JoBlo}

This clip from Carmen Electra’s supposedly “leaked” sex tape features no boobies, no vaginas, and hardly any tongue at all. It’s real Rebecca Gayheart home video quality, let me tell you. I’m not going to come straight out and say it’s boring, but you should know I got a bigger boner watching “The Life Cycles of the Mealworm” while alphabetizing my sock drawer. And I don’t even have a penis. So counting this video, that makes two of us with absolutely no wieners at all.

Lots more screen caps after the jump

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Sophie Monk’s new movie “The Hills Run Red” heads straight to a DVD player near you today, in which she plays a stripper who shows her boobs. That’s all I really know. I was going to do a little more research, but that would have required reading words instead of staring at her boobs. Which, ironically, is exactly you’re doing right now. Dumbass!

All thumbs 2 and 3 NSFW:

Several anonymous Transformers 2 crew members posted an open letter about Megan Fox on director Michael Bay’s official website — and they were, uh, less than complimentary, to say the least. The NY Daily News says

“We’ve had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies,” read the letter, which was taken down from the site after being read by thousands of fans. “And yes we’ve had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it’s very cringe-able.

Megan is the queen of… trailer trash and posing like a porn star… [and] a thankless, classless, graceless, unfriendly [bitch].”

Boy, that’s practically word-for-word the toast I used at my stepmom’s bridal shower. Except I closed with “And you’re not the fucking boss of me, Tina!” and slammed the door so hard a picture fell off the wall. I always like to aim for a strong finish.

At NY Fashion Week, plus bonus stills of her making out with Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer’s Body after the jump:

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Megan Fox loved getting her lezzie on with costar Amanda Seyfried in the new Diablo Cody movie “Jennifer’s Body,” but Amanda was obviously intimidated by making out with someone so unbelievably hot and rife with raw insecurity sexuality. At least that’s the way Megan saw it. She told Us Magazine

“I felt more comfortable kissing [Amanda] in the movie than kissing any of the other people that I had to kiss. [But] I think she was extremely uncomfortable. I don’t think that — I know that. She was not comfortable and there was a lot of laughing — like, giggling fits that happened in between takes.

[But] I’m pretty sexy in it.”

Because God forbid anybody think anyone other than Megan Fox is sexy in this movie. Especially not Amanda Seyfried. Only Megan can be confident in her sexuality! That’s kind of her schtick, you know? So is being insipid, over-compensatory and one-dimensional — and I’m not just talking about Diablo Cody’s screenplay! Ba-dum chish!*

^{* That’s TWO in one day! I better go lay down now before I hurt myself.}

Even more Jennifer’s Body stills:

If I’m ever going to wield my vision of an absolute gynocracy on an unsuspecting public, I’m going to need someone like Megan Fox in “Jennifer’s Body” to spearhead my campaign. Someone who has all the power of a soul-sucking demon, but still renders men helpless with the overwhelming desire to masturbate. Otherwise Hillary Clinton would be my obvious first choice.

PHOTO SOURCE: Splash News

Q: What do Polacks call toilet seat protectors?
A: Bibs

Q: How can you tell if your Cosmo is Polish?
A: It’s got Megan Fox on the cover but only one picture of her in it… and it’s in Braille.

In Polish Cosmo (first thumb); the rest are HQ stills from “Jennifer’s Body”:

Here’s Denise Richard pulling off her bikini top on the beach in an episode of her reality show “It’s Complicated.” Only it’s not complicated. It’s crap. I guess E! was hoping the tits would keep you from noticing.

NSFW:

_{Video NSFW}

There’s a good way to tell if what you’re looking at is “art” or “porn.” It’s called a monacle and top hat. If you’re wearing one, it’s art. If you have your fist around your penis, it’s porn. A gentleman should know the difference.

Naked Bar Rafaeli in a new Israeli “art” video:

BONUS: Bar Rafaeli and Marisa Miller & friends in bikinis in the new Aerosmith video after the jump

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The latest issue of Empire magazine has the first pictures of Megan Fox as a demon-possessed cheerleader in Diablo Cody’s new movie “Jennifer’s Body,” in which Megan has a lesbian love scene with co-star Amanda Seyfried. Also included? Obtuse attempts at cultural relevance and painfully scripted witticisms. “That ain’t no etch-a-sketch. This is one doodle that can’t be un-did, homeskillet!” Ugh. Thank God for hot lesbian cheerleaders. Is there anything they can’t fix?

If you’ve ever wondered what Carrot Top would look like in Kabuki makeup, all your dreams just came true. Pervert.

First pictures of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, Helena Bonham Carter as the Queen of Hearts, and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland:

The first picture of Helena Bonham Carter as a Terminatrix Serena in “Terminator: Salvation” has been released, showing the actress with a partially damaged face that reveals a primitive metal endoskeleton. The Daily Mail says

Helena Bonham Carter is to star in the new Terminator movie - but she will not be human.

The actress has already revealed that she plays a villain in the prequel, Terminator Salvation, telling an interviewer: ‘I kind of play a baddie, definitely a baddie. I don’t know how much I’m allowed to say, but I’m a very bad person.’

Fun fact about the film: to save money, make up artists on the set didn’t create a damaged prosthetic to plaster to Helena’s face — they simply took an old piece of latex and swabbed it against Paris Hilton’s vagina for twenty seconds. “At first we tried melting the latex with an acetylene torch,” one artist is quoted as saying, “and then we tried coating the latex in formaldehyde and using it to stamp out a grease fire. But nothing worked as well as Paris’ puss. It really looks like half of Helena’s face has been blown off.” Paris was reportedly more than happy to help once she saw there were cameras rolling.

In other action/adventure future film news, Robert Downey, Jr. looking Stark-tastic on the set of Iron Man 2: