Nov 5, 2009
The Atlanta stripper who claimed to have had a one-night stand with a very-married Josh Duhamel didn’t just pass a lie-detector test last week — turns out she is also in possession of several racy texts sent from the Transformers star himself that categorically corroborate the alleged affair. It also helps that Josh went around the set of his new movie blathering about it to anyone who’d listen. Us Magazine says
Nicole Forrester didn’t seek out the the National Enquirer in hopes of a payday.
“Josh bragged about what happened on the set of his movie [Life As We Know It], and someone called the Enquirer with the tip,” [Forrester's lawyer said]. “The Enquirer then came to Nicole.”
Various women across the country have now come forth to claim their own dubious sexcapades with Duhamel, 34.
On Oct. 30, a woman named Serena called in [to a San Francisco radio station] to say that while the then-engaged actor was filming the Transformers sequel at a New Mexico Air Force base in 2008, he slept with her best friend who was stationed there.
I think the lie-detector test and the texts pretty well seal the deal. The only way that stripper could be more convincing is if she also had a signed and dated photo of the actor which read “I put my wiener inside you and moved it in and out, Love Josh Duhamel.” And with his stellar track record for subterfuge, I wouldn’t necessarily rule that possibility out yet. Remember, celebrities are notoriously fucking stupid. It’s the only reason I have a job.
Speaking of stupid celebrities, Lady Gaga in SoHo in a bra and g-string and lace table cloth:
Oct 29, 2009
PHOTO SOURCE: Radar Online
Only ten months after getting married, Josh Duhamel has been accused of cheating on wife Fergie with some second-rate stripper he met in Georgie. Radar Online says
Duhamel, 36, met stripper Nicole Forrester in early October at an all-nude club in Atlanta called Tattletales Lounge, where she performs under the name “Delilah.”
Forrester says Josh first identified himself as “JD”, and said [she] performed a nude dance for him and a male friend.
[Forrester and Duhamel] later exchanged phone numbers, and on October 9th, he called her and invited her to his $820-a night room at the St. Regis hotel, which led to sex, she says.
Forester passed a rigorous polygraph. Duhamel denies the report emphatically.
I don’t know about you, but I, for one, believe her. She’s about as convincingly female as he is convincingly heterosexual. That is, she looks like Carmela Soprano on roids and he looks like he should be walking a hairless Philippino on a pink leash through the streets of San Francisco.
Fergie forgetting she’s not supposed to have a penis and Josh playing prison bitch:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Oct 1, 2009
I already gave you a taste of Sophie Monk topless in “The Hills Run Red,” but you guys don’t usually complain when I toss more titty your way, so here are Sophie Monk’s bare boobies. Again. That’s about it, really. No sense in beating a dead horse here. Especially when there are so many other things you’d rather be beating at the moment. Yeeeah, baby! High five!
Lots, lots, lots LOTS more NSFW boobage after the jump:
(more…)
Sep 30, 2009
Sophie Monk’s new movie “The Hills Run Red” heads straight to a DVD player near you today, in which she plays a stripper who shows her boobs. That’s all I really know. I was going to do a little more research, but that would have required reading words instead of staring at her boobs. Which, ironically, is exactly you’re doing right now. Dumbass!
All thumbs 2 and 3 NSFW:
Aug 11, 2009
In case you didn’t think the new G.I. Joe movie sucked hard enough, “star” Channing Tatum is bringing a new kind of shame to the the table — the naked kind. Best served warm and in your face! Us Magazine says
[We have] obtained a video of Channing Tatum, 29, dancing in a Chippendales-style revue called “Male Encounter” in 1999.
Then 18, the star performed under the alias Chan Crawford.
He was so impressive [during his year-long stint in a now-defunct Florida nightclub] that he caught the eye of a female casting agent who put him in Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs” music video.
So from all-male review to Ricky Martin’s casting couch. How’s that for climbing the proverbial ladder? Jacob’s ladder (NSFW), that is. I’d say any ladder having to do with some dude’s freshly shorn ball sack is probably a safe bet here.
Look at these pictures and tell me this guy’s not gay:
Apr 27, 2009
Jessica Biel’s lame movie Powder Blue (better known as “the one where she gets her kit off”) was originally scheduled for a triumphant four-and-a-half week theatrical run, during which it would no doubt have finally garnered Biel the Oscar of which she has so oft been robbed. And by that I mean it would have opened on 17 screens nationwide and made approximately $36/day (including refreshment revenue) because the only people who would go see it would be homeless men with no pants using the money someone put in their mugs at the bus station. I guess a little birdie finally explained this complicated math to studio execs, because Powder Blue is now going straight to DVD. From Page Six:
Jessica Biel — one of the sexiest, most beautiful women in the world — has had bad luck with her latest movies, and hasn’t been seen on the big screen since “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” two years ago. Not even scenes of Biel dancing topless as a stripper in “Powder Blue” — co-starring Ray Liotta, Kris Kristofferson, Forest Whitaker and Lisa Kudrow — could get the somber drama a theatrical release. “Powder Blue” is going straight to DVD in June. “Easy Virtue,” based on the Noel Coward play, features Biel as an American divorcée who has a whirlwind romance and marriage to an Englishman, and will get a limited release by Sony on May 22. Most of Biel’s fans will have to wait a few months to see her in “Nailed,” in which she plays a waitress whose brain is accidentally punctured by a nail gun, resulting in weird, lusty behavior with DC lawmaker Jake Gyllenhaal.
Jessica Biel needs to just give up now and become a stripper for realsies. Or a waitress. Or a stripping waitress. Without makeup she looks like something that clawed its way out of a hell dimension and wants to suck out your soul, and she’s an abysmal actress with no discernible personality. Since everyone can see the screencaps of Biel’s nude scenes from Powder Blue online (right here!), I can’t think of a single reason anybody would buy that shit on DVD. Maybe as a gag gift, like for some dude you hated in high school or for the boss who fired you for dry humping the copy machine. But even then, only if it costs less than four dollars.
Apr 23, 2009
Batshit insane Octomom Nadya Suleman might have claimed she couldn’t remember any of the details of her foray into lapdancing, but fortunately for us, the strippers she worked with still do. Among the shocking allegations of her former co-workers? Octomommy’s stage name was “Angelina.” Like Angelina Jolie. Who also has a passel of children, long dark hair and oversized lips. What an amazing coincidence! According to MSNBC
“I met her at an amateur contest, and we wound up doing parties together,” a stripper called “Sage” [said]. “She was overly flirty with the guys we performed for.”
“Numerous sources” confirmed Suleman, who has previously denied any interest in copying or even being a fan of celebrity mom Angelina Jolie, danced under the name “Angelina” and hoped to become a household name one day. “(Suleman) always said she wanted to be really famous,” explained Luis Ceballos, a limo driver who claims he once shuttled Suleman and other dancers to those aforementioned parties.
I give it three months before she’s arrested for trespassing on Brangelina property with a set of detailed instructions for filleting Angie whole so she can wear her skin like a suit. Buffalo Bill’s got nothin’ on this crazy bitch.
Wannabe Angelina:
Real Angelina:
Apr 21, 2009
Virtually unemployable Lindsay Lohan may have finally found her only chance at a viable paycheck true calling: starring in a topless show in Sin City with Mel B. According to Fox News
Lohan flew from Los Angeles to Las Vegas on Saturday on the private plane of the producer of Mel B. and Kelly Monaco’s “Peepshow” [as part of] official negotiations to take over [for] Monaco. “If they make me an offer, and the money’s right, I’ll do it,” Lohan reportedly said.
If Lohan does get the adults-only gig, she’ll play “Bo Peep,” a timid girl who the Diva (Mel B.) guides in her transformation into a confident, sensual woman while surrounded by a slew of semi-naked burlesque beauties. The former “Scary Spice” and Lohan have become pretty close and that Brown is pushing for Lilo to snag the job.
[Our source said, "Lindsay] feels that this would really revitalize her career and give her some serious theater cred.”
Yep, nothing says “theater cred” like topless revue in Vegas with the ugly one from the Spice Girls. Except maybe being made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire for outstanding contribution to Thespis, but that’s really only a distant second.
Stills from “I Know Who Killed Me”:
Apr 20, 2009
Oh look, it’s Jessica Biel. And also her breasts.
Here are some screen caps of Jessica Biel topless in Powder Blue. These things are everywhere on these here interwebs today, but I’m posting them especially for you, my preciouses, because I am a kind and generous soul.
I know y’all are drawn to breasts like moths to flame, but I strongly (strongly) encourage you to avoid this film at all costs. Firstly, all women named Jessica are utterly worthless actresses. There are only three exceptions to this rule, and Biel ain’t one of ‘em. These exceptions are as follows: Jessica Lange, Jessica Tandy, and Jessica Rabbit. Another reason to avoid this steaming pile is the fact that the theatrical release is scheduled for 8 May 2009 and the DVD release is scheduled for 9 June 2009. For those among you who are not math geniuses, that’s about a four-and-a-half week theatrical run. That is not a good sign.
Probably the only part of the movie worth seeing:
