I wanna try to get all the Whitney stuff out of the way before we start talking about last night’s Grammy Awards, so you might want to sit down before you read any further. Turns out it was a mixture of pills and alcohol that killed her, not drowning. Shocking, I know. The Daily Mail says:

Whitney Houston died from mixing a cocktail of Xanax and other powerful prescription drugs with alcohol.

Her family has allegedly been told by Los Angeles County Coroner officials there was not enough water in her lungs to conclude she had drowned in her luxury hotel bathtub and in fact died before her head went under water.

And in more depressing Whitney-related news, daughter Bobbi Kristina has been hospitalized twice in the last 24 hours amidst rumors that she’s become suicidal. The Daily Mail says:

The teenager was first admitted after allegedly passing out after drinking alcohol and then taking a sedative pill given to her by one of her mother’s entourage to calm her down upon learning of [her mother's death].

She was then pictured being taken out of the Beverly Hilton — the same hotel where her mother had died just hours earlier — on a stretcher at 10:30 am yesterday and being rushed to Cedars-Sinai where she was treated for extreme anxiety.

She was released several hours later, but friends and family are still very concerned about her mental state.

It’s all just so tragic. I’m sure you’ve been bummed out all morning. But hopefully, these nude(ish) pics of Olivia Wilde for Lance Staedler will cheer you up just as much as they did me. They really did wonders for the ol’ morale, if you know what I mean.

In fact, I think I’m gonna go cheer myself up with them again right now. BRB:

Despite recently reuniting with her husband of sixteen days, it’s not been all sunshine and roses for 45-year-old Sinead O’Connor. In fact, just yesterday she took to Twitter to announce that she was “really unwell” and in need of immediate psychiatric attention. The Daily Mail says:

Taking to the social networking site, the mother-of-four claimed that she was in ‘danger’ if she didn’t receive medicine immediately.

The singer began her series of odd Tweets by claiming that Ireland is a ‘VERY hard place to find help in.’

‘Does any1 know a psychiatrist in dublin or wicklow who could urgently see me today please? im really un-well… and in danger,’ she tweeted to her 5,422 followers.

And just what does Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel in their Spring 2012 swimsuit catalog have to do with Sinead O’Connor? Not a goddamn thing. After that tattoo, I thought you’d already suffered enough.

Lindsay Lohan did what any girl who had just been dumped and publicly humiliated would do — she called a tabloid magazine to discuss the breakup at length. According to Us Weekly

“It’s absolute hell,” Lohan [said] in a far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls where she was both agitated [and] crying. “The worst night of my life. I’m not a bad person and this is what happens. Everyone’s turned on me.”

She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.”

“I’m a f–king 22-year-old girl who’s in love,” she says. “I felt like I was in Mean Girls, but worse: Mean Girls was a movie.”

Sources tell the magazine Ronson had repeatedly tried to break up with Lohan over the past month, but each time, “Lindsay threatens to kill herself.”

Lohan laughs upon hearing that, saying she’s okay.

“I’m just really hurt!” she says. “The whole situation is sick.”

I agree. The whole situation is sick. At least the part involving Samantha Ronson’s vagina, anyway. I bet it looks like a couple of clam strips that spent the last six months pickling in a big jar of brine and broiling under a heat lamp, all shriveled and dehydrated and curled up on themselves like really long flesh-colored raisins. That bitch is straight-up disgusting.