Ever heard the expression “too much of a good thing?” Well, I guarantee whoever said that never saw Kate Upton’s rack.

You probably noticed there’s only been one Kate Upton post today, which is less than a third of your doctor’s recommended daily intake. Assuming your doctor is Dr. Dre. Now I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to smoke two blunts and call me in the morning.

Kate Upton might have landed the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover, but Sophia Neophitou — editor of the “English style bible ’10′ and creative force behind the casting of the Victoria’s Secret shows” — doesn’t think she’s refined enough to take the runaway at a VS fashion show. The NY Times says:

“We would never use Ms. Upton for a Victoria’s Secret show,” Ms. Neophitou said by telephone last week from London. And, while Ms. Upton has, in fact, modeled on occasion for the company’s catalog, her look, said Ms. Neophitou, is “too obvious” to be featured in what has become the most widely viewed runway show in the world.

“She’s like a Page 3 girl,” Ms. Neophitou said, referring to the scantily clad voluptuous women featured in The Sun, a London tabloid. “She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

Day-um. I think it’s pretty clear that either Kate Upton fucked Ms. Neiphitou’s significant other, or else Ms. Neiphitou caught her significant other jerking it to pictures of Kate Upton. The only way it’d be more obvious that she hated Kate is if she spat and made the sign of the cross every time she said her name.

Today is more boring than church, so what better way to break up the monotony than with a little gratuitous T & A courtesy of Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Kate Upton? After all, man was made in God’s own image. It stands to reason that admiring her nearly-naked body would qualify as worship. Gotcha on a technicality, Jesus!

Amen:

The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition Portfolio contains tons of bikini-clad pictures of models Bar Rafaeli, Brooklyn Decker and Hilary Rhoda (just to name a few), although I’m not entirely sure what makes it the “Explorer’s Edition.” Perhaps there’s a mariner’s guide to the Straits of Magellan and a crudely-drawn map to the Lost City of Gold in the back. You know, in case you feel like rubbing one out on the legend of El Dorado instead of Bar Rafaeli’s face. I’m sure that happens a lot if your last name is Pizarro.

A crew member put up several behind-the-scenes shots of Bar Rafaeli’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition shoot on Twitter today. The Daily Mail says

Bar Refaeli didn’t disappoint as she posed for the 2010 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition in several bikinis throughout the course of the day – and she looked fantastic in all of them.

The 24-year-old looked to be having a ball as she joked around with the crew during the shoot at an undisclosed location.

In one shot the model is pictured wearing huge sunglasses and in another she cheekily pulls down her bikini strap while posing with the magazine staff.

So gorgeous, smart, and self-effacing to boot? Some people might say she sounds like the perfect woman. Well, I beg to differ. I say sweaty, stubby and inconsolably bitter is where it’s at. Call me, boys!

Ever heard that old joke that goes, “What’s better than a supermodel in a swimsuit?” Well, just so you know, the answer is supposed to be “SIX supermodels in a swimsuit.” If you answer “A pocket full of roofies and a hand-held video camera,” everyone stars staring at you all weird and covering their drinks.

From V Magazine’s first ever swimsuit issue starring Kate Moss, Gisele Bundchen, Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Eva Herzigova, and Daria Werbowy: