18-year-old disgraced Disney star Demi Lovato says she has her fans to thank for getting her through rehab, and that’s why she had both her wrists tattooed in their honor. Not because it makes it easier to hide scars from cutting. That’s just a happy coincidence. The Daily Mail says:

On her left wrist says ‘Stay’ and on the right it says ‘Strong.’

There is also a small heart that she says represents the love of her followers.

‘I wanted to thank my fans in a way I know can never be forgotten,’ she said.

The starlet added that while she was receiving treatment for ‘emotional and physical issues’ in rehab, many of her fans tattooed hearts on their own wrists in solidarity for her.

It’s helpful to have words that remind you what to do tattooed on your most visible extremities. That way you never, ever forget. For instance, Grandma writes “Remember” on my left hand and “To Chew” on my right before I eat. I can’t tell you how many wads of un-chewed cold cuts she’s spared my windpipe with that little trick.

A massively-photoshopped Britney Spears graces the cover of OUT magazine’s first-ever “Ladies We Love” issue. Brace yourself for a positively riveting interview inside. The NY Daily News says:

[OUT magazine asks Britney], “What women (living or dead) could make you think twice about your sexuality?”

In her e-mail reply, Spears confirmed, “I only have eyes for men.”

When asked how she “would feel if one of your sons turned out to be gay,” the singer vowed to “love my boys no matter what.”

Spears also divulged that she thinks she was Audrey Hepburn in a past life, “because she was a trend setter.”

Never mind that she and Audrey Hepburn co-existed for nearly twelve years before she died. Maybe in her future life, she’ll come back as someone who can actually pass remedial fourth-grade math.

I bet Megan Fox went with “We will all laugh at gilded butterflies” and “Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music” because the word “poser” didn’t have enough letters to cover her whole back. Here, I’ve got one for you: “Those who suck are oft blissfully unaware of how unbearably stupid they are.”

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

The conservatorship that was imposed upon Britney Spears after her string of public breakdowns and forcible institutionalization back in 2008 is rumored to be coming to an end. Radar Online says:

The conservatorship will most likely end within three months, a source close to the situation revealed.

“Britney has made tremendous progress. She seems to be firmly in control again,” the source said.

The conservatorship likely will end in two phases, with Spears taking control of her financial affairs in the second stage. The next conservatorship hearing is scheduled for October 14.

It will be the judge’s decision if and when to end the conservatorship.

She still can’t remember to put on a bra or brush her goddamn hair, but she appears sane enough because Daddy’s been propping her up and pulling all the strings for the last two years. You let her go on her own, and that crazy bitch will unravel like a cheap sweater. Mark my words — it’ll be fast, and it’ll be messy. It’s what writers call a “classic denouement,” from the French for “you might want to wear a poncho.”

Sporting stick-on tattoos with her boyfriend Jason Trawick:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

You don’t get to be a tatted Nazi slutty hooker by being especially intelligent (come on, when she gets old her tats are gonna look like the Lucky Charms dude jizzed all over her),  but Michelle “Bombshell”  “Nazi Big Boobs” McGee thought taking on celebrity smack-talker Chelsea Handler was something she could handle. Wrong! Says Popeater,

The war of words began after Handler posted a joke about McGee on her blog, saying, “I guess she doesn’t read magazines which makes sense, since she basically has one on her face.” In Handler-land, that’s about as tame as a joke is going to get, and given the amount of ink spilled dissing McGee since the Jesse James infidelity scandal broke, she should have just left it go.

But she didn’t, of course. Bad move.

McGee responded on her Facebook page, saying, “Chelsea, here’s some free advice: Use some of that Botox from your forehead and put it in your flabby underarm skin. I’ve seen better wings in a bucket of KFC chicken.”

…Handler took to her show last night and dealt McGee a proper smackdown. After cracking a few jokes about dipping her arms in blue cheese, the host got a little hostile: “First of all, look at my forehead, you dumb b***h, okay? It moves. You have a tattoo on your forehead, so you have had a needle in your forehead — and probably Jesse James’ b***s. So shut your face.”

You have shamed the memory of Der Führer, fraulein. Now go deep-throat your collector’s Nazi Walther PPK handgun (you should have no problem with that part) and do what must be done.

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