“Gossip Girl’s” Ed Westwick showed off two brand-new tattoos yesterday, and I already know what you’re thinking — who the hell watches fucking “Gossip Girl?” Well, based on my research, 14-year old girls, gay male adolescents, and people who turned it to the CW early Monday night because “One Tree Hill” was coming on next and they didn’t want to miss it. My research also indicates that Ed could have just tattooed “faggot” and “asswipe” on either shoulder and still got his message across, but with half of the needle time. Lean Six Sigma can suck it!

Looking like a giant queef on the Gossip Girl set last week:

You know it’s for real now — Lindsay Lohan and lesbian lover Samantha Ronson have gotten inked with matching tattoos. According to E! Online

First acquired in July 2006 with then-beau Harry Morton, Lindsay’s tattoo (on her left hand between the thumb and index finger) was white in color. She has since had the tat outlined with black ink, and Ronson has replicated the heart on her own left hand.

Lindsay has also turned up with one of Samantha’s tattoos. Ronson has cascading red stars inked down her right arm, and now Lohan is showing off a red star on her right hand.

Tattoos are a great testament to your everlasting love because they are practically indelible. Just like Hepatitis C and and bankruptcy, but people just aren’t as wild about those.

If you’re new to the internet, Lindsay Lohan’s nipples: