Turns out that Taylor Momsen IS just as greasy and nasty as she looks. And it’s not an act, either, because she quit acting, remember? The Daily Mail says:

The 18-year-old Gossip Girl star and singer recently revealed in an interview with Elle magazine that sometimes she doesn’t wash.

When asked what sort of beauty products she takes with her on tour, she said: ‘I tend not to bring a lot — [just] a lot of black eyeshadow. A lot of the time you don’t have time to shower.

Even truck stop hookers have the decency to hit the Mapco sink and a couple of baby wipes between johns. Why? I’m gonna give you one word — “seepage.” Process that for a minute. And now imagine that seepage has been encased in vinyl hot pants and fishnets and broiling in crotch sweat every night for a week straight. Having sex with her would be like dipping your dick in a damn car battery.

Performing with her band The Pretty Reckless last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

You’d think with all the makeup that Taylor Momsen drowns her face in, she could spare a little for the big freaking red pimples on her neck. I guess all that time on the tour bus, you pick up some bad habits, like picking said pimples and screwing your bandmates. Add a few more and she’d have her own Ring of Fire.

Getting off her tour bus in Vienna:

Taylor Momsen and her craptacular band The Pretty Reckless spent Valentine’s Day at the Martini Ranch in Scottsdale, AZ.  It’s nice to see she’s fostering a sense of romance. And by “romance” I mean, serving up her 17-year-old ass as jailbait. Because nothing says “love” like a statutory rape charge. That’s how it was explained to me by my 26-year-old boyfriend when I was a teen.

A few more crappy pictures:

Taylor Momsen got all dressed up in her formal underwear for the premiere of Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never movie premiere. If I didn’t know who she was, I’d assume that the poor person working the projector hired a hooker to make the time more bearable.

Uber-bad-girl Taylor Momsen stopped suckling at Satan’s teat long enough to get herself suspended from her crappy show Gossip Girls. Us Magazine reports,

The increasingly controversial 17-year-old actress will begin an “indefinite hiatus” from Gossip Girl following next Monday’s episode, sources tell Deadline. Reps for the CW and Warner Brothers declined to comment.

Momsen has played Jenny Humphrey, kid sister to Dan Humphrey (Penn Badgley) since the CW soap debuted in 2007. Although a series regular, she has only appeared in three episodes so far in the current fourth season.

“She only does [the show] for the money,” a source explains to UsMagazine.com “She works hard on Gossip Girl but doesn’t care about the plot or the other cast members. She treats it like a 9-5. No emotional investment.”

Momsen, who also fronts the rock band Pretty Reckless, has grown up since her big-screen debut at age 7 as cute Cindy Lou Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas — raising eyebrows with her skimpy, intensely Gothic wardrobe, notoriously foul-mouthed interviews and angry, age-inappropriate antics.

The new Us Weekly even reports that, for her Oct. 21 Pretty Reckless concert at NYC’s Don Hill’s (in which she flashed her breasts to the crowd) Momsen had a startling request: “Her rider included a full bar in her dressing room,” an insider told Us. “That was rejected — she’s underage!”

Somehow I don’t think she got herself suspended for not being “emotionally invested”. I’m thinking a little less “not emotionally invested”, and more “blowing everyone on set, including gaffer Bob’s Chihuahua”. That seems more up Taylor’s sleazy little alley.

With her The Pretty Reckless bandmates at MTV European Video Awards in Madrid:

After the vicious denial she gave the last time she was on The Today Show, a visibly subdued Dina Lohan finally admitted to Matt Lauer this morning that her daughter Lindsay was in fact an addict. MSNBC says:

The reason she’d been unwilling to admit [her daughter was an addict] before was because Lindsay had to admit it first. “I wasn’t in denial,” Dina said. “As a mother it wasn’t for me to come and tell the world about her problem… It was for her to come to her evolution. As a mother we protect.”

“She’s just a different person. She’s been in a couple facilities, but this one to me has really changed her.”

She’s obviously still in denial, only she’s switched gears from “she’s not an addict” to “now she’s a changed woman!” And not only that — she’s also in denial about that crappy weave making her look young and hip and sexy. The overprocessed hair extensions ship sailed about fifteen years ago, sister. And everyone on board drowned in a sea of that frosted pink lipstick you’re wearing. I think it’s finally time to let go.

And speaking of complete denial, Taylor Momsen at the EMAs:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

17-year old Taylor Momsen can’t act and can’t sing, but she has tits and she’s willing to show them. What can I do? My hands are tied! The Daily Mail says:

Singing with her band The Pretty Reckless [at Don Hill's in New York last week], the Gossip Girl star deliberately pulled down her ripped top to reveal her bra-less assets with strips of black gaffer tape covering her nipples.

With a knowing look, she carried on singing and only pulled her top back up after a few seconds having made sure her stunt had been noticed at Thursday night’s gig.

The flashing occurs at the 1:05 mark, but the squares at Hollywood Life covered up all the good stuff with a black bar, so I don’t even know why you’d watch. But if you do, turn the volume all the way down first, because we at Yeeeah! cannot not be held accountable for the savage beating your co-workers will inevitably give you if you unknowingly subject them to it:

I’m convinced this chick was raised by wolves. Sexy slut wolves. In Revolver:

UPDATE: Now with uncensored footage from her concert in Toronto where she did the same schtick (3-second tit flash with gaffer tape) after the jump.

(more…)

I guess if I was the poor man’s Avril Lavigne, I’d want to carry a gun, too. That way I could turn it on myself when I finally realized how pathetically conventional my anti-establishment schtick really was.

Taylor Momsen showed up at Macy’s in New York to help promote Madonna and daughter Lourdes‘ new clothing line, “Material Girl”. I guess “promoting” means standing around looking like a tool. What you don’t realize is that those aren’t sunglasses she’s wearing. That’s her eye makeup.

This girl is 17, btw.

Taylor Momsen and her shitty Hole-knockoff band The Pretty Reckless have a new video out for her latest single “Miss Nothing.” The Daily Mail says

The Gossip Girl star has gone all out to shock in the new music video.

The teen is shown crawling seductively across a table set up to look like Leonardo DaVinci’s painting, The Last Supper, which depicts Jesus’ final meal with his 12 apostles.

At first Momsen can be seen wearing a white veil, seated in the middle of the table and surrounded by the male members of the band.

Wearing a very tight, very short white dress and perspex heels she then climbs onto the table and begins to crawl down it, knocking over glasses and plates.

The only part of the video that really resonated with me was the other band members’ bored, blank expressions. And all I can think every time she smacks a plate onto the floor is “Hey! I was maybe gonna eat that!”

16-year old “Gossip Girl” star Taylor Momsen performed her first-ever live gig with her band “The Pretty Reckless” in London last night dressed like a crack whore with rickets and scurvy. Allow me reiterate here — she’s sixteen years old. Sixteen. That would be the same age as Justin Bieber. Miley Cyrus is older than she is. She must sleep in an oak barrel surrounded by the stuff they use to age soft cheeses.

You don’t find hair that luscious and vibrant unless Britney Spears’ shower drain needed unclogging:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Taylor Momsen is halfway famous for a few things: she’s on that “Gossip Girl” show, she wears waaaay too much makeup, she dresses like a hooker even though she’s only 16, and she likes to pretend she’s “hardcore.”  Basically she’s Avril Lavigne, except she’s American instead of Canadianesian.  Apparently, Taylor Momsen would also really like to be famous for running her mouth off and sounding like a stupid asshole.  From OK! magazine:

While the rest of the world is expressing their concern for the people of Haiti while they struggle to recover from the 7.0-magnitude earthquake that has taken the lives of hundreds of thousands and left many more without food, shelter or medical care, Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen tells OK! that, well… like, she’s just too busy right now to even pretend to care about the situation.

Last night, OK! caught up with the leggy teenager at the Victoria’s Secret store in NYC’s SoHo district, where she was promoting her new fragrance, Love Rocks. And when asked if she’s planning to follow the lead of stars like Wyclef Jean, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who are making high-profile donations and pleas for help, Taylor told OK!, “Um, right now I’m trying to just finish my record and getting through the last season of Gossip Girl for right now. So not so much thinking about that.”

But before you think she’s both clueless and heartless, Taylor added, “But it’s awesome that everyone is ya know working towards a good cause.”

One topic Taylor could talk about more easily discuss was her new scent. “Well, I like that the scent is a little bit tougher than a lot of the other Victoria’s Secret scents that have been out,” she explained. “Ya know, it’s just a little bit more masculine which I like a lot. And the packaging looks really pretty on a vanity I think. And I like the little spray, what’s that called? An atomizer. I like the little atomizer.” So she knows what an atomizer is, but can’t manage to act like she cares about one of the biggest catastrophes in recent history. Good to know she’s got her priorities straight!

I love how OK! magazine is pretty much straight-up calling her a vapid piece of shit.  Look, I get that Taylor Momsen is 16, and that excuses a certain degree of youthful stupidity, but this is ridiculous.  She was asked about a horrific tragedy which devastated an entire country, and she answered by pimping her album and her show and saying she doesn’t give a shit about all those people who died.  I might’ve just considered her willfully ignorant had she answered by saying that she doesn’t know where Haiti is and she doesn’t watch the news or know how to read so she can’t offer an opinion on the subject.  I’d at least give her points for honesty, then.  But what she did instead was attempt to imply that she’s too busy and important to think about other human beings, even for the time it takes to utter one sentence.  What a useless little assclown.

Also, I’d like to know what the HELL Victoria’s Secret is thinking, partnering with a 16-year-old on a fragrance?  They’re a lingerie store, for Christ’s sake, and she’s a CHILD.  A child wearing a nightie.  In public.  As a dress.  She’s got on so much makeup that she looks closer to 34 than 16.  That’s creepy and disgusting.  Also seemingly disgusting: this perfume.  The setup they’ve got going here, with the cheesy rock ‘n roll theme and a kid dressed up like a stripper, just makes me think this perfume will smell like cigarettes, whiskey-sweat and pedophilia.

Taylor Momsen at the NYC launch of her new Victoria’s Secret perfume: