It’s not looking good for Christian Bale.

Everyone was hoping that the Batman actor might have been arrested yesterday for verbally assaulting his mother and sister — what with England’s silly Class 4 and 5 “verbal assault with an intent to cause alarm” clauses — but no dice. It looks like there was actual physical contact between him and his mother. TMZ reports

We’re told Bale pushed his mom out of the way during an altercation. She was not hurt and did not fall down. There’s a division of opinion on whether the contact was a “push” or a “brush.”

Well, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? I mean, who hasn’t wanted to push their nagging mother out of the way of the door so they could walk out of the room during an argument? So, it looks like this was all a big misunderstanding. Christian doesn’t have an unpredictable and violent temper. Right? Um, not exactly. TMZ goes on to say

Bale was on the set last Friday shooting “Terminator 4.” During a scene, the director of cinematography screwed up a shot — at least in Christian’s mind. Bale went ballistic, screaming “I will kick your ass” along with other choice remarks. Several hundred people heard the outburst — including Military Police — which was described as “intense.”

We’re told Bale was “extremely tired and having a bad day.”

Okaaay… I guess… so maybe the day of the assault was just another “bad day” for Christian. He’s not like that all the time. *crosses fingers* Right? The Daily Mail says

Christian can have a terrible temper. Instead of lashing out at his wife, he sometimes lashes out at people around him.’

Jesus, I give up. The only thing I got is that his mom was a former circus clown. And if there’s one thing my grandpa always told me, it’s that you can’t trust circus folk. He also told me that you couldn’t trust the Japanese and that redheaded people are lazy and that black people run faster than white people because they have an extra bone in their foot, so I wouldn’t exactly call him to the stand or anything. But hey, at least it’s something.

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