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Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is all better now after being in rehab for less than a month. Of course, that depends on your opinion of “better”. Me, I would say he’s better when America gets tired of watching stupid reality shows about trashy people. So, probably not anytime soon. Says TMZ,

The Situation has CHECKED OUT of the Cirque Lodge rehab center in Utah … where he was receiving treatment for substance abuse … TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story … Mike Sorrentino checked in to the famous treatment center several weeks ago … claiming he wanted to “get control of a prescription medication problem I had due to exhaustion.”

Sitch was spotted out moments ago at a nearby airport … and even took a photo with a fan who happened to be on his flight.

I’m sure his time in rehab has totally transformed him. He probably would never wear an open shirt anymore and speaks intelligently about important societal issues and raises his pinky when he drinks his afternoon tea. He’s like a new Eliza Doolittle, if Eliza Doolittle smiled like she had suffered a stroke and had a persistent, itching rash.

The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain, but who really cares when Emily VanCamp in Cosmopolitan magazine is all bright colors and long legs?

 

 

First it was just exhaustion, and then it was that he was addicted to prescription pills he was taking for his exhaustion, and now it’s been revealed that “Jersey Shore’s” Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is also in rehab for his proclivity for mixing booze with those prescription pills he was taking for that exhaustion. And apparently if you’ve watched any of season five, this was a long time coming. TMZ says:

The reality star had been showing signs of substance abuse for a while … but “he was getting worse” as the season went on.

He was “acting paranoid” on the set … and the unusual behavior was evident in the [episode where] the gang goes camping — Sitch can be seen acting jittery, sweating profusely and just plain acting bizarre.

Additionally, TMZ is claiming that The Situation went through detox at another facility before he checked into the Cirque Lodge, and the detox reportedly involved alcohol:

The Sitch is “very open” with other patients at Cirque about his drinking. He discusses how his club appearances escalated his alcohol use.

Now here’s the problem for “Jersey Shore.” The Situation and alcohol have been tied at the hip for 5 seasons. If the show allows The Situation to fall off the wagon to make the show better in season 6, they will look like crass enablers. If they don’t let him drink, there’s a good chance they will lose viewers.

Um, since when has being viewed as “crass enablers” ever been a problem for MTV? It’s my understanding that they fucking thrive on it. Crassly enabling is three-quarters of their entire annual budget.

That sweaty paranoid behavior that sent up some red flags:

Resident Jersey Shore douche Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino checked in rehab earlier this month for “exhaustion,” what with the taxing life he leads and everything. Radar Online says:

Sorrentino’s rep [said]: “He is not in rehab for substance abuse. He has spent the last several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest and recuperation after his extensive production and appearance schedule.”

A source close to the reality star says, “Mike is focusing on recuperation after a very long trip through Australia and getting rested up for season six. His friends and family know where he is, he just wants to get away from the public and be on his own for a bit to relax.”

So, in essence, he’s taking a vacation from his fucking vacation of a life. Waxing and blow-drying and bronzing must be a lot more physically demanding than any of us ever realized. I just hope he can conjure up enough strength to pull through this. Talent like his should never be compromised.

UPDATE: So it is pills after all. Pills for his exhaustion, i.e. Adderall.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is finding himself in hot water after allegedly reneging on a deal with a clothing company. And no, it wasn’t a deal that he wouldn’t wear their clothing. I know, weird, right? Digital Spy says,

The Jersey Shore star and his brother received a $25,000 (£16,000) payment from Serious Pimp to promote their line of T-shirts on the MTV show and a variety of social media outlets, but failed to continue working with the brand.
TMZ reports that Serious Pimp launched the legal challenge in an effort to recoup the figure and obtain compensation from Sorrentino for lost profits.

Sorrentino and his brother were also given the opportunity to approve deigns for the garments, but “simply disappeared” with the money, according to the website.

Gee, you hand a sleazy greaseball wop a wad of cash and you’re surprised when he doesn’t hold up his end of the deal? I say you’re lucky if that’s all that happens. Normally I’d expect him to knock all the females in your family while he’s at it.

Emmy Rossum at the Showtime TCA party:

Most labels are tripping over themselves to get celebrity endorsements, but Abercrombie & Fitch is actually paying “Jersey’s Shore” Micheal “The Situation” Sorrentino not to wear their clothing anymore because he’s bad for the brand’s “image.” The company released a statement yesterday saying (via the Daily Mail):

Referring to the proposal as ‘A Win-Win Situation,’ they expressed ‘deep concern’ that the cast of the MTV reality show are parading around in their goods and blackening their reputation.

It stated: ‘We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans.’

Sorrentino, 29, has now been offered a ‘substantial payment’ to ‘wear an alternate brand’.

And just what is Abercrombie & Fitch’s image, you ask? Well, most of their marketing campaign is comprised of provocative black and white photos of preteens in their underpants, so I’ll say “child exploitation.” But Abercrombie was also busted contracting out sweatshops in Saipan, so I guess it’s really child exploitation and child labor. You can see how The Situation wearing their track suits could really ruin their good name.

Lily Aldrige in Victoria’s Secret lingerie because she’s not 11 or a guido:

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