Adult film star Jenna Jameson gave birth Monday morning to twin boys. Us Weekly says

Being able to give birth to two healthy babies is joyful for Jameson, a self-proclaimed devout Catholic. “It was all in God’s plan,” she told Us two years ago.

You remember God’s plan. It’s in the Bible. Right under “thou shalt not do black guys, neither do you anal” and “remember the wiener and keep it lubricated.”

Vintage mommy:

Prepare yourself for the coming of the Anti-Christ — retired porn star Jenna Jameson is pregnant. Ew. Page Six says

The porn queen is pregnant with the baby of her boyfriend, UFC champ Tito Ortiz. Jameson miscarried during her marriage to Jay Grdina, whom she divorced in 2006. She also once failed with in vitro.

It’s a good thing uteruses don’t come with a self-destruct button, because Jenna’s womb has done everything short of blowing her ovaries like a Palestinian’s backpack to keep her from procreating. I’d also like to point out that there’s a pretty good chance the devil is involved if you can still gestate a fetus after “Cum One, Cum All” and “Krystal Method.” I wouldn’t be surprised if the baby came out with a tail speaking Latin and summoning hell’s dark army.

Stills from Shauna Sand Presents “Zombie Strippers”