Don’t know what to get your sexualized-at-a-young-age daughter? Did you ever wish Mattel would just get a little more trashy with their line of Barbie dolls? Well, your dilemma is over now that the famed plastic doll is getting a makeover as Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry. TMZ exclusively reports,

Sucks that a guy with no genitals is about to get a shot with Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry … because TMZ has learned they are both about to become Barbie Dolls!!

Sources close to the plastic factory tell TMZ … Mattel has already begun production on a Nicki doll and and a Katy doll.

We’re told Nicki’s doll will include “every signature detail, right down to the tattoo on Nicki’s left arm.”

The Nicki doll will be available on Dec. 7 — and proceeds will benefit the Project Angel Food organization.

No word yet if they’ll be so detailed as to include a peek-a-boo nipple for Nicki, an erupting dermis for Katy, and a timepiece counting down both singer’s period of marketable viability.

Katy with weird faded pink hair at the Grammy Nominations:

Charlie Sheen spontaneous combustion in 3-2-1…TMZ has posted an open letter he wrote (and gave to TMZ) addressing the decision to shut down production on Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season. Charlie writes,

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows … I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can’t handle my power and can’t handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.

Remember these are my people … not yours…we will continue on together…

Charlie Sheen

Then, after being called anti-Semitic for choosing to use the Hebrew translation of Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre’s name, he fired back with,

“I was referring to Chuck by his real name, because I wanted to address the man, not the bulls**t TV persona.”

FYI — Chuck’s birth name is Charles Levine … and Chaim is the Hebrew equivalent of the name Charles.

Charlie added, “So you’re telling me, anytime someone calls me Carlos Estevez, I can claim they are anti-Latino?”

I think that’s the only bit of sense that he’s made in this whole thing. If you’re verbally attacking someone and then pull out the ethnic version of someone’s name, chances are you’re trying to insult them. Like if I call drunken wife-abusing Charlie Carlos Estevez, then I’m making a point that of course he’s those things because he’s Latino, and everyone knows Latino men are all wife-beating drunks. Duh.

Mila Kunis at the Hollywood Reporter Big 10 Party, because crazy is rarely pretty:

Jessica Alba tried to sound intelligent and politically savvy during a red carpet interview by telling a Fox news reporter to “stay neutral — be Sweden.” She obviously confused Switzerland with Sweden — which is easy to do when both countries start with “sw” and you’re dumber than a bowl of mice — but she claims her choice of words was intentional. She wrote on her MySpace:

I find it depressing that in the midst of perhaps the most salient time in our country’s history, individuals are taking it upon themselves to encourage negativity and stupidity. Last week, Mr. Bill O’Reilly and some really classy sites (i.e.TMZ) insinuated I was dumb by claiming Sweden was a neutral country. I appreciate the fact that he is a news anchor and that gossip sites are inundated with intelligent reporting, but seriously people…it’s so sad to me that you think the only neutral country during WWII was Switzerland. Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweden_during_World_War_II if you want to see what I was referring to. I appreciate the name calling and the accurate reporting. Keep it up!!

TMZ responded:

[Jessica] is absolutely correct. We apologize for not considering the political climate of the world in 1942 when we suggested she may have meant, “be Switzerland” — a country that is currently neutral.

Well, duh! Of course she was referencing the nation’s political standing six decades ago. Who doesn’t when mentioning neutrality? You could just as easily say “be Lichtenstein” or “be Andorra” or “be Argentina,” all of whom were neutral during World War II. Everybody knows “the more archaic and irrelevant the reference, the more smarter you sound.” I think Mike Tyson said that.

With baby Honor Marie on a playdate with Heidi Klum’s kids: