Even though she was sentenced to 120 days in jail on Friday for violating her probation, it’s looking like Lindsay Lohan will only serve 21 days in the pokey at most due to overcrowding. But since she didn’t get off completely scot-free, she’s naturally filed for an appeal, and said appeal could take up to three months to be heard by the Appellate Department of the Los Angeles Superior Court, which will give her plenty of time hit the talk show circuit and talk about what a victim she is in all this. Starting with a “surprise” interview with Jay Leno that will air tomorrow night on NBC. Radar Online says:

Lindsay Lohan called her 120-day jail sentence “shocking” and said it left her “kind of numb.”

The 24-year-old Mean Girls star, speaking to Jay Leno Monday in a surprise Tonight Show appearance that will air Tuesday, was wildly cheered by the studio audience upon her arrival, and even received a standing ovation.

Leno asked Lohan, “At what point did you realize, ‘Oh my God, I could lose this, this could slip away from me?’”

“I think that when, you know, being young and being in the position I was in, people make decisions for you,” Lohan said. “But I’m not a kid anymore — I’m 24… and as long as I stay focused, I can achieve what I want to achieve.”

They gave her a “standing ovation” when she walked on the set. Did you catch that? A standing ovation. There’s only one reason you should ever stand up when Lindsay Lohan enters a room, and it better damn well be to get a better trajectory on the handful of feces you’re about to lob at her. Otherwise, you’re just exposing more of your ass for me to kick.

Arriving at Leno (video after the jump):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

(more…)

Legendary “Tonight Show” sidekick Ed McMahon has passed away at the age of 86. TMZ reports

He died at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center in California this morning. McMahon was fighting a multitude of health problems, including cancer.

He is best known as Johnny Carson’s sidekick on “The Tonight Show” and for his infamous catchphrase, “Heeeeeeeeeeere’s Johnny!”

With Carson and MacMahon reunited again, heaven just got a whole lot funnier! Unless, of course, Johnny Carson went to hell. Then it’s just sad again.

Gwyneth Paltrow lubed herself up with some baby harp seal blubber and oozed her way onto The Tonight Show to have a nice chat with Conan O’Brien.  She’s so shiny I’m pretty sure you could see her vapid ass from space.  She’ll probably wax poetic in the next issue of GOOP about how you, too, can look like you swam in a vat of petroleum jelly for the bargain price of just €699.95 (or three quarts of fresh blood from a young virgin).  God, she’s so annoying.  There’s video, but it’s almost six minutes long and it’s not remotely funny or interesting and at one point Gwyneth says some weird shit about how her son thinks every white guy he sees is his father and then she tries to make it sound less racist by backtracking with something about how her kid thinks Metallica sounds exactly like Coldplay because apparently all white dudes sound the same and HOLY SHIT WHY WON’T THIS DUMB BITCH EVER SHUT UP?

Jamie Foxx is trying to make amends for bashing “Hannah Montana” star Miley Cyrus on his self titled Sirius radio show over the weekend. It all started when one of his homies asked him on the air, “Did you all hear what that bitch [Miley] said? She had the nerve to put down Radiohead when they didn’t want to meet her before the Grammys.” Foxx responded with

“Who is Miley Cyrus? The one with all the gums? Let me get an order of mouth, light on the teeth, heavy on the gums.

[Bitch need to] do some heroin… be a lesbian and put some crack in your pipe. Catch chlamydia.”

In response to the public outcry, Jamie went on last night’s Tonight Show with Jay Leno in the hopes of back-pedaling his way to forgiveness. He said

“I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don’t mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far… There was a situation with Miley Cyrus, and I just want to say, I apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean it maliciously.

Miley, I apologize, so I’ll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand.”

Funny how that works, isn’t it? Jamie cracks on Miley’s gums and it’s “harmless” and “all in good fun.” Had Miley mentioned his big-ass gums, she’d be labeled a bigot and a racist and the media backlash would have been swift and unmerciful. Some people call that a double standard. I like to call it, “Bitch, you earned your keep playing Ugly Wanda and the dude who got his salad tossed by a dog in Booty Call.” I guess that’s what they mean when they say people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Gummy getting an iced coffee Easter Sunday: