NBA star Tony Parker suffered a lacerated cornea the night Drake and Chris Brown trashed a NYC nightclub over Rihanna, but instead of suing the two douchebags who started the fight, he’s suing the nightclub instead. TMZ says:

Parker says he was hit by shards of glass and suffered lacerations to his cornea when bottles started flying in the fight last week.

The lawsuit alleges club management, knowing there was “bad blood between Drake and Brown,” was driven by the almighty buck and continued selling alcohol to the participants in the brawl, despite the fact that some were “visibly intoxicated.”

As for whether Chris Brown or Drake will be added as defendants, Parker’s lawyer [says] he’s waiting for the results of the police investigation. He also wants to review the surveillance tape before making his decision.

Please. He’s not gonna sue Drake or Chris Brown, no matter what the security tape turns up. He’s gonna go about it the cowardly back-handed way and sue the club. The guy’s French. That’s what they do best. Otherwise it wouldn’t say “cowardly and back-handed since 1794″ right there on their money.

The wife of Tony Parker’s former teammate Brent Barry has made her first public statement regarding accusations that she and Tony had an affair while he was still married to Eva Longoria. Erin Barry said in a statement on her website:

“It has been brought to my attention that people who do not know me think that I have had an affair with Tony Parker. I did not have an affair with Tony Parker, nor did I ‘pursue’ Tony Parker.

Unfortunately, because our divorces are occurring at the same time, great speculation has been cast on our friendship.

To assume that we had an affair is naive, ridiculous, and completely misguided. What is being insinuated about me is a complete lie.

I only take the time to explain myself because apparently my silence, as a result of my indifference, has been construed as an admission of guilt.”

There’s just so much gray area when it comes to affairs. When it comes to who’s “right” and who’s “wrong,” nothing’s really that cut and dry. Besides, guilt really hinges on what the definition of is is. At least if you’re asking Bill Clinton in front of a grand jury.

Hindsight is 20/20, and in Tony Parker’s case, it’s obvious he had other women’s behinds in his sight from the get-go of his marriage to Eva Longoria. Popeater explains,

Friends of Eva Longoria tell me everyone’s favorite ‘Desperate Housewife’ is devastated about her split from Tony Parker, her husband of three years — but her biggest regret is that she didn’t leave him sooner.

“Once a cheater always a cheater,” a friend of Eva’s tells me. “Just five months into their marriage, reports of Tony’s infidelity spread like wildfire, but Eva chose to listen to her heart and not her head. She stood by her man, believing deeply in the institution of marriage. She chose to believe her husband was innocent.”

At the time, the NBA star was accused of having an affair with Alexandra Paressant, a French model, before rushing home to be with his wife on the set of a photo shoot.

Both vigorously denied the allegations at the time, but sources told me the damage had been done.

“You just don’t get up and walk away from a marriage because of a few text messages,” an insider tells me about the reports Eva filed for divorce after finding evidence Tony was cheating via e-mail and cell phone. “There is much, much more to this story than that. Don’t think for one second Eva made this decision lightly. Stuff went down that she will never talk about. She is far too much of a lady to air her dirty laundry in public, but let’s just say Tony knows exactly what he did to her and it wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t have been the last. Trust has been broken, as well as Eva’s heart.”

Well it’s like that old saying goes, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they’re probably banging someone hotter and younger than you.” I’ve got that embroidered on a pillow.

In an 80′s-ice-skating inspired frock at the 2010 MTV European Video Awards:

Shocking video of Tony Parker and his reported mistress Erin Barry dancing together was uncovered last night, and I mean “shocking” in the “as painful as 120 volts to the taint to watch” sense of the word. The NY Daily News says:

Erin Barry said Tony Parker [star] in a Spurs promotional video featuring the two, as well as Eva Longoria, singing the “Grease” classic “Summer Nights.”

The 2009 video features Parker dressed as Danny Zuko, Longoria as the lovable blonde Sandy Olsson and Barry as the feisty Betty Rizzo. About halfway through, Barry gives Longoria the boot off a picnic table bench, sending her into a garbage can.

It could have been worse, I guess. He could have been Doody or Putzie.

Eva Longoria broke her silence regarding her divorce from Tony Parker on Extra yesterday, telling host Mario Lopez that she had found “hundreds of texts” from a mutual friend on her husband’s phone. What she didn’t say is that this mutual friend just happens to be the wife of one of his former teammates. The Huffington Post says:

The other woman is Erin Barry, the wife of Tony’s former Spurs teammate Brent Barry, according to Sports Illustrated writer Bryan Armen Graham.

“Have it on good authority from entertainment sources that “former teammate” in Tony Parker-Eva Longoria affair is Brent Barry,” Graham tweeted. “Source did mention Barry and wife are going through a divorce.”

Eva also revealed that this wasn’t the first time Tony had strayed during their three-year marriage. According to Radar Online:

The Desperate Housewives actress added that [his affair with Erin Barry] was not her husband’s first indiscretion: earlier in their marriage, he cheated on her and kept in touch with the woman through Facebook.

It’s like esteemed American author Mark Twain once said — “A Frenchmen’s home is where another man’s wife is.” You really have to hand it to those slimy bastards. Because God knows they won’t fight you for it.

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