Victoria’s Secret model Karolina Kurkova is so incredibly beautiful that you could almost forget she doesn’t have a belly button. Almost. There are two logical conclusions to draw regarding her mysterious lack of navel: 1) that her beauty was self-sustaining in utero, negating a need for a placenta and umbilical cord-assisted gestation; or 2) she was grown in a lab by an evil scientist who wants to take over the world by creating an army of supermodel assassins just like her. Yeah, my money’s on the second one, too.

Although I spend my weekends lost in a bottle of rum and playing video games, it’s nice to know there’s always people trolling the internet for boobies like busy little bees, as known as, “My personal heroes”. This weekend was obviously a very productive weekend, since we’ve already seen Olivia Munn nekkid (hey, I don’t like her, but boobs are boobs), and now, Christina Hendricks. Daily Mail reports,

Christina Hendricks has denied that a picture of her topless, which is currently circulating the internet, is of her.

The 36-year-old’s representation have told website TMZ that images of the actress wearing barely any clothes and gazing into the camera are of her, but a snap of her pulling down her top to reveal her bare breasts is not.

They also confirm to the website that Hendricks is in fact the victim of phone-hacking.

The TV star is said to not know who hacked her phone, but her people have alerted authorities and a case has been opened.

The statement comes after a hacker claiming to have broken into the Mad Men star’s cell phone leaked pictures across the internet today that showed the actress in a series of compromising poses.

One photo showed Christina wearing lingerie and gazing into the camera.

Another shows the make-up free redhead wearing a pair of glasses and long sleeved tan shirt.

The hacker also posted pictures purported to show the actress pulling down her top to reveal her bare breasts, which Hendricks and her people have said is the ‘phony’ picture.

Are the pictures real? Are they fake? This, my friends, will require further exploration. In my pants!

Kate Moss is two years shy of forty, but that hasn’t stopped her from flashing her tits every chance she gets. Needless to say, she’s my own personal hero.

Drunken upskirt while celebrating the big 3-8 in London:

Izabel Goulart is a Victoria’s Secret/Sports Illustrated model with a body that could move a man to tears, but the good folks at Muse decided the perfect backdrop for all that nekkid splendor was a dirty public restroom. I guess the juxtaposition of the two is supposed to be provocative somehow, in the same way that poking a diamond into a turd might be considered provocative. Is it a metaphor for the ugliness of consumerism? Does it represent the dirty reality of a society mired in youth-obsession and vanity? Or is it just a really crappy attempt to shock you into thinking it’s somehow art? I don’t really know. Maybe we should ask Izabel Goulart’s tits. They seem to know what’s up.

Laeticia Casta is topless in a photoshoot by Dominique Issermann, but before you say anything about the pictures being crappy quality, consider this: I heard the same complaint from someone else, and he was fist deep into some burly dude’s ass. Don’t you even think about complaining.

Whitney Houston’s family announced yesterday that there would be no public memorial service or public wake before the singer’s funeral on Saturday (although the funeral will be televised), leaving thousands of fans understandably disappointed. Almost as disappointed as Whitney’s family was when they learned that Clive Davis — who had been footing all of Whitney’s bills for the last year — would not be paying for her funeral. A source told Radar Online:

“Clive was paying the majority of Whitney’s bills before she died. He was even paying for her room at the Beverly Hilton Hotel; she was out of money. She didn’t have anything left.

Clive won’t be paying for any part of Whitney’s funeral though. Whitney’s family will be responsible for all the costs.

Whitney’s fortune is gone… music industry heavy hitters [were] supporting her and her label [was] fronting her cash against her next album. She might [have been] homeless if not for people saving her. She [was] broke as a joke.”

Is anybody really surprised to discover she was broke? Crackheads aren’t exactly known for their sound investments and fiscal prowess. Not unless you count the return on aluminum cans and most cigarette-and-homemade-shank-traded commodities.

Nina Agdal in the 2012 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue:

Evan Rachel Wood likes to think she’s pushing the envelope with her new androgynyous haircut and her tiny androgynous breasts, but I find her entire Flaunt shoot completely trite and cliched. It’s the sorta crap a first-year art student who’s just come out of the closet in the big city would post in his online gallery under the title “Duality of Being: the Dénouement.”

90210 “actress” AnnaLynne McCord “accidentally” posted a topless picture of herself on Twitter yesterday. And then she “accidentally” alerted her followers about it before she finally took it down. The Daily Mail says:

24-year-old [McCord] sent the snap to female fan Megan Lujan after plenty of previous exchanges but also alerted the rest of her Twitter followers to it last week.

She wrote alongside it: ‘This is for you @meganraee You rock! Xxx A.’

But when fans noticed her nipple was visible in the image McCord pulled the original post down and replaced it with a cropped version.

Who among us hasn’t accidentally taken a picture of themselves topless? It’s a lot more common than you think. You’re sitting there, minding your own business, when all of the sudden, whoops! — your cell phone’s out and your bra’s off. And now — uh-oh! — you’re uploading it to your favorite social networking site. If I had a nickel for every time one of my aereolas inadvertently wound up on the interwebs, you can bet I’d be like a seven-thousandaire by now.

AnnaLynne McCord and Sara Foster filming in Beverly Hills:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Not only is Sienna Miller reportedly pregnant with her first child, but word on the street is that she’s also engaged to long-time boyfriend Tom Sturridge. The Daily Mail says:

The 30-year-old actress, who has been dating actor Tom for just over a year, is believed to have broken the news to friends and family just before Christmas.

Her sister Savannah Miller tweeted today: ‘THRILLED.’

Life & Style magazine [is also] alleging that Tom proposed to Sienna in Paris over Christmas.

Babies and weddings are boring, so instead I thought we’d take a trip down memory lane. Remember that one time Sienna Miller was topless? Yeah… good times. And then there’s that one time she was topless and sucking face with a married man. And then she was topless on her balcony. And at the beach. And on a boat. And here, well, she’s just full-on naked. Reminiscing sure is fun!

Lady Gaga is in this month’s issue of L’Uomo Vogue magazine. I have no idea what this magazine is about, but it looks like they rolled her around in the garbage compactor aboard the Tantive IV. All I can say is, spray her with gold paint and she’d have C-3PO short circuiting.

Sports Illustrated model Irina Shayk goes topless-but-covered in next month’s Esquire UK, but just how Esquire has the balls to charge 4.25 British pounds for a fucking handbra when you could see her boobs here for free right here is beyond me. I was all ready to get huffy and write an outraged letter to the editor when it occurred to me, “Wait a minute — it’s Esquire.” I don’t think “balls” even even factor into the equation here.

This is supposedly a pic of Miley Cyrus topless as she changed in the VIP area of some club in Spain back in May — presumably from the same set of leaked cell phone pics that came out soon after her iPhone was hacked — but somehow it’s just now hitting the interwebs, either because it’s a fake, or because TrainReq decided to play that ace he’d had up his sleeve this whole time. Either way you slice it, you still end up with free boobs. It’s your classic win-win scenario.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures