Dean McDermott posted a seemingly innocuous picture of four-year-old son Liam on his Twitter last night without realizing that wife Tori Spelling was topless in the background. The Daily Mail says:

In the playful photograph… Tori looked to be reclining in bed while her boys larked around.

The picture was taken down from the reality TV star’s Twitter page this morning after he realized the blunder.

I started hunting around to see if I could find an uncensored version of the photo, but I didn’t have any luck, mostly because it occurred to me that I was voluntarily seeking out lopsided pepperoni nipples on a pair of mangled fake tits attached to some horse-faced skeleton and nobody was holding a gun to my head. Frankly, they don’t pay me enough.

UPDATE: If you’re a masochist and a big fan of pimiento loaf, you can see the uncensored nipples here.

You know it’s a slow news day when the news outlets are reporting about Tori Spelling’s son falling down. If there was a news release about every time I got dropped on my head,well…I’m sorry, I forgot what I was talking about. Hm. That seems to happen a lot. Says Digital Spy,

Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott’s son reportedly suffered a tumble last week while filming a scene for the couple’s Oxygen reality show Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood.

During a family dinner with Spelling’s mother Candi last Saturday at New York City’s Serendipity 3 eatery, 4-year-old Liam apparently fell from his booster seat onto the restaurant’s floor.

“At the end of their meal, after wrapping up the scene, he toppled over,” a source told The New York Post’s Page Six. “He flipped out of his booster seat, and Dean quickly scooped him up and hugged him while Liam screamed, drawing stares from other diners.”

After initially shedding tears, Liam was eventually calmed down by his father and Spelling’s rep later confirmed that the young child suffered no lasting injuries from the tumble.

A similar incident occurred earlier this year when Spelling was forced to rush Liam to an emergency room after the boy hit his head after a fall and subsequently began vomiting.

What’s important here is that after the first incident, Tori taught little Liam that it’s important to get right back on the horse after you fall off, figuratively speaking, of course. Tori wasn’t saddled on these two occasions, so Liam didn’t happen to be actually riding a horse.

With another member of the animal kingdom:

If you ever wanted to know what an old, broken-down horse looks like on its way to the glue factory, look no further than Tori Spelling’s face.  She makes me want to go drink that bottle of Jack that’s in the fridge. That is, if I hadn’t already had it in my Wheaties. If I hadn’t, I would totally drink it down and get shit-faced and cry and have a mock-burial with some Elmer’s School Glue. Poor horsey never had a chance. I guess I’ll have to console myself that’s she’s at Rainbow Bridge now. Dammit, that poem always makes me blubber. Where the HELL is my Jack?

In Beverly Hills (I guess that’s where the designer glue gets made):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame

It’s not all sugar cubes and brush-downs in the Tori Spelling stables. This little filly has a jealous streak! Says Digital Spy,

Tori Spelling has admitted that she worries that her husband Dean McDermott may cheat on her.

In an interview on KIIS-FM’s Ryan Seacrest Show, the 37-year-old said that she struggles with insecurities which make her feel naturally suspicious of McDermott’s loyalty.

“I’m a normal girl, and I worry about that stuff,” she explained.

“You know how girls are! Girls get jealous. You have to deal with that living all the time. It happens. We are who we are.”

She added that her husband doesn’t share her fears for their relationship.

“He doesn’t really get jealous. I feel like an oddball being jealous all the time.”

Constantly asking your spouse, “Do you love me?” and demanding to be told how beautiful you are and following around them around in a floppy hat and sunglasses and peering through binoculars and leaving little notes for them outside the door of their work that say, “If you ever leave me, I would kill myself, and maybe you” and painting pictures of them and leaving them so they can see them when they wake up in the morning, is probably the very best thing you can do to win their affection. I did that with my ex and I got a stupid restraining order, but it’s just his stupid interfering parents that made him do it, so I know he REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH ME. Sweetie….call me.

Signing her new book “uncharted terriTORI” with husband Dean McDermott and son Liam. I wish she would stop doing a play on words with her name. Get over it, already.

Brain teaser: which of these is bigger — Tori Spelling’s glasses, or Tori Spelling’s nipples? Remember, perspective is everything!

If you ever wondered what Gollum might look like as a post-op transsexual in a cheap wig, wonder no more. I bet Benjamin Button’s head looked just like Tori Spelling’s left tit when he first started to crown.

In Mordor Palm Springs with her kids and husband this weekend:

Tori Spelling has repeatedly denied that she suffers from an eating disorder, but it’s pretty apparent from these pictures that she’s a full-blown anorexic. For Chrissakes, look at her arms. Gross. I’ve seen starving horses pulled out of makeshift barns on “Animal Precinct” that didn’t look that disgusting.

Leaving Mr. Chow’s with husband Dean:

Wah wah wah, Tori Spelling is moaning about how she feels pressured to be thin in Hollywood. Last time I checked, she didn’t have a flourishing career, so if she really wanted to, she could get the hell out of the public eye, move away from Hollywood, and fatten up, little filly. She told US Magazine at the Pull-Ups Potty Dance Party in NYC (I kid you not),

“You’re out there; your picture is in every magazine. They’re looking at you from every angle, no matter what you do,” she added. “You have to be careful getting out of cars now because they shoot up your skirt. Everything has to look good, and of course, there’s pressure to do so. I definitely feel it.”

Spelling — who has two kids, Stella, 8 months, and Liam, 23 months — said losing her baby weight “was much easier the second time. I keep saying this, but it’s true.

“I think the first time I was so stressed and knew I had to lose it. This time I did it with my family,” added the star, who credited a healthy diet and jogging with helping her shed pounds. “I didn’t do a super diet fad or a workout routine. I literally did everything with my kids and my husband. Before I knew it, [the weight] came off.”

Guess what, Bonejangles? You better start eating some oats and mash and fatten up, or it’s off to the glue factory for you.

At a Christian Siriano fashion show–the security guard wouldn’t let her in at first until the PR people told him that she had been invited. Ouch! And my point exactly.

Heart Truth’s annual Red Dress show happened at Bryant Park today for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week.  Things got off to a swimming start with a mile and a half of hot leg, then leveled off for awhile before quickly devolving into a Golden Girls nightgown parade and finally culminating in a bobble-headed, hot tranny mess.

Amanda Bynes strutted those stems out:

Jennie Garth looked pretty darn cute (she and Amanda Bynes have the most adorable rapport — they were on some dumb show together for years):

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I can’t imagine why “actress” Tori Spelling would admit to having had a boob job earlier this year. With a bust line that natural, you never would have never in a million years guessed that she’d undergone surgery. That’s sunset-on-the-Riviera kind of cleavage. Provided the sun were melting and the Riviera were made of silly putty and it was the mammary version of Kristallnacht, I mean. Perfection, thy name is Tori!

“So NoTORIous” star Tori Spelling gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. People magazine reports:

Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott welcomed their first child together, a son, on Tuesday. Liam Aaron McDermott, who was born in a Los Angeles hospital, weighed 6 pounds, 6 ounces, according to the couple’s rep. Spelling’s mother Candy Spelling was at the hospital. The baby arrived just as the new mother is reconciling with her own mom after a long estrangement.

Nothing like the birth of a grandchild to bring a family back together again. Or the winning of a lottery, or the kidnapping of a couple of underage girls. Blessed be the tie that binds!

Homewrecker and reality whore Tori Spelling and husband number two Dean McDermott threw a Tupperware-sponsored baby shower Saturday afternoon at Elixir Tonic & Tea in Hollywood. People magazine reports:

Guests at the event included Spelling’s Beverly Hills 90210 pal Jennie Garth and her So NoTORIous costar Loni Anderson. Spelling’s mother Candy… was not there. The menu, presented on blue Etch-a-Sketch trays, featured childhood favorites such as grilled cheese sandwiches, tuna melts, miniature corn dogs and pigs in a blanket. The shower… was filmed for Spelling’s new Oxygen reality show “Tori & Dean: Inn Love.”

Any guesses as to how many pigs in a blanket Tori wolfed down at her shower? Ten, twenty? Two hundred sixty-five? She seems to be carrying the baby awfully high. As in “right there underneath her chin” kind of high. I’m pretty sure that means it’s a boy. Or a forty-pound yetti twins. I’ll have to check my copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” to know for sure.

More — LOTS more — of Tori after the jump.

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