Brain teaser: which of these is bigger — Tori Spelling’s glasses, or Tori Spelling’s nipples? Remember, perspective is everything!
If you ever wondered what Gollum might look like as a post-op transsexual in a cheap wig, wonder no more. I bet Benjamin Button’s head looked just like Tori Spelling’s left tit when he first started to crown.
In Mordor Palm Springs with her kids and husband this weekend:
Tori Spelling has repeatedly denied that she suffers from an eating disorder, but it’s pretty apparent from these pictures that she’s a full-blown anorexic. For Chrissakes, look at her arms. Gross. I’ve seen starving horses pulled out of makeshift barns on “Animal Precinct” that didn’t look that disgusting.
Leaving Mr. Chow’s with husband Dean:
Wah wah wah, Tori Spelling is moaning about how she feels pressured to be thin in Hollywood. Last time I checked, she didn’t have a flourishing career, so if she really wanted to, she could get the hell out of the public eye, move away from Hollywood, and fatten up, little filly. She told US Magazine at the Pull-Ups Potty Dance Party in NYC (I kid you not),
“You’re out there; your picture is in every magazine. They’re looking at you from every angle, no matter what you do,” she added. “You have to be careful getting out of cars now because they shoot up your skirt. Everything has to look good, and of course, there’s pressure to do so. I definitely feel it.”
Spelling — who has two kids, Stella, 8 months, and Liam, 23 months — said losing her baby weight “was much easier the second time. I keep saying this, but it’s true.
“I think the first time I was so stressed and knew I had to lose it. This time I did it with my family,” added the star, who credited a healthy diet and jogging with helping her shed pounds. “I didn’t do a super diet fad or a workout routine. I literally did everything with my kids and my husband. Before I knew it, [the weight] came off.”
Guess what, Bonejangles? You better start eating some oats and mash and fatten up, or it’s off to the glue factory for you.
At a Christian Siriano fashion show–the security guard wouldn’t let her in at first until the PR people told him that she had been invited. Ouch! And my point exactly.
Heart Truth’s annual Red Dress show happened at Bryant Park today for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. Things got off to a swimming start with a mile and a half of hot leg, then leveled off for awhile before quickly devolving into a Golden Girls nightgown parade and finally culminating in a bobble-headed, hot tranny mess.
Amanda Bynes strutted those stems out:
Jennie Garth looked pretty darn cute (she and Amanda Bynes have the most adorable rapport — they were on some dumb show together for years):
I can’t imagine why “actress” Tori Spelling would admit to having had a boob job earlier this year. With a bust line that natural, you never would have never in a million years guessed that she’d undergone surgery. That’s sunset-on-the-Riviera kind of cleavage. Provided the sun were melting and the Riviera were made of silly putty and it was the mammary version of Kristallnacht, I mean. Perfection, thy name is Tori!
“So NoTORIous” star Tori Spelling gave birth to a baby boy yesterday. People magazine reports:
Tori Spelling and husband Dean McDermott welcomed their first child together, a son, on Tuesday. Liam Aaron McDermott, who was born in a Los Angeles hospital, weighed 6 pounds, 6 ounces, according to the couple’s rep. Spelling’s mother Candy Spelling was at the hospital. The baby arrived just as the new mother is reconciling with her own mom after a long estrangement.
Nothing like the birth of a grandchild to bring a family back together again. Or the winning of a lottery, or the kidnapping of a couple of underage girls. Blessed be the tie that binds!
Homewrecker and reality whore Tori Spelling and husband number two Dean McDermott threw a Tupperware-sponsored baby shower Saturday afternoon at Elixir Tonic & Tea in Hollywood. People magazine reports:
Guests at the event included Spelling’s Beverly Hills 90210 pal Jennie Garth and her So NoTORIous costar Loni Anderson. Spelling’s mother Candy… was not there. The menu, presented on blue Etch-a-Sketch trays, featured childhood favorites such as grilled cheese sandwiches, tuna melts, miniature corn dogs and pigs in a blanket. The shower… was filmed for Spelling’s new Oxygen reality show “Tori & Dean: Inn Love.”
Any guesses as to how many pigs in a blanket Tori wolfed down at her shower? Ten, twenty? Two hundred sixty-five? She seems to be carrying the baby awfully high. As in “right there underneath her chin” kind of high. I’m pretty sure that means it’s a boy. Or a forty-pound yetti twins. I’ll have to check my copy of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” to know for sure.
More — LOTS more — of Tori after the jump.
It looks like Candi Spelling had the last laugh in her bitter feud with her daughter Tori. According to US Weekly, Tori, who should have inherited millions from her father’s $500 million estate, will get just 0.16% of her daddy’s fortune. She will get a cash inheritance payment of $200,000, plus about $600,000 in private investments her dad set up for her.
“I believe Candy had a lot to do with what was left for Tori,” a family source says of Tori’s mother, who is sole managing executor of the estate. (Candy’s rep had no comment.)
With such a low amount of money, Tori will not be able to visit the plastic surgeon anymore and she will soon look like the half-man, half-fish creature from the Black Lagoon. Let’s hope someone will set up a charity to save her.
Dean McDermott: Tori, aren’t you supposed to attend your father’s burial today?
Tori: Yeah, but first I have to tan my boobs.
More pics after the jump.
Aaron Spelling, a onetime movie bit player who created a massive number of hit series, from the vintage “Love Boat,” “Charlie’s Angels” and “Dynasty” to “Starsky and Hutch,” “Beverly Hills 90210″ and “Melrose Place,” died Friday at his mansion in Los Angeles after suffering a stroke on June 18. He was 83. It’s no secret Aaron was feuding with his daughter Tori Spelling. But she reportedly made peace with him before his death.
“I’m grateful I recently had the opportunity to reconcile with my father and most grateful we had the chance to tell each other we loved one another before he passed away,” Tori tells People exclusively. It’s a true blessing to have had a parent that loved me unconditionally. He had a heart as big as his talent and today, along with many others, I mourn his loss. He was a great man and even better father.”
She forgot to mention he was a wildly rich man. I mean, Tori wouldn’t want to pass up on daddy’s money, would she?
It seems Tori Spelling’s latest ad campaign isn’t sitting too well with some Los Angeles merchants.
“People promoting her TV series Notorious have been plastering stickers on sidewalks in front to chic L.A. shops that read ‘Tori was here, and she tripped. So NoTorious.’ It’s supposed to evoke her character’s ditzy personality, but instead, it’s provoking anger,” a source tells the Scoop. “They take forever to scrape off the sidewalk. Some people are saying they’re going to send her father [mega wealthy producer Aaron Spelling] the bill for having it cleaned up.”
There’s no need to plaster stickers on sidewalks to remind me that Tori is ‘tripping.’ I mean, she looks like an old fish on LSD.
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