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Britney Spears will be going on tour in 2009, marking the first time she has gone global since injuring her knee during her Onyx Hotel Tour back in 2004. And if those performances on X Factor and at the Bambi Awards are any indication, it’s going to be half-hearted mime-off unworthy of your $145. You could save your paycheck and just put a blonde wig and fishnets on one of the animatronic mice at Chuck E Cheese’s and get an equally convincing live performance. Plus you get a free soda and a balloon if you tell them it’s your birthday, and experience has taught me that you’re sure to be the biggest one in the ball pit. Score, baby!

UPDATE: Britney performing “Circus” on Good Morning America (above). Official tour dates and her GMA “Womanizer” performance after the jump.

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