Halloween exists for two purposes:

1. Eat a shit ton of candy
2. Dress like a slut, go to a party, act like a whore and get wasted

Celebrities are firm believers in upholding these timeless traditions (or at least #2), and this year is no different.  Here’s a Halloween 2008 Slutty Costume Roundup.

Kim Kardashian’s ass dressed as Wonder Woman at some masquerade yesterday:

Heidi Montag and that toolshed she hangs around with dressed as attention-craving retards:

Kendra Wilkinson as — wait, is this a costume?  I can’t tell:

Mariah Carey and her wife, Nick Cannon, dressed as cookies & milk (because they’re idiots) at their costume party at Marquee in NYC yesterday:

Mariah Carey and her wife, again — this time dressed as “sexy firefighters”:

Traci Bingham as Officer Boobage yesterday:

Shauna Sand dressed as… an orange whore (I guess) on Oct. 25th:

…And it’s a shame she didn’t throw herself in while she was at it. Oh wait, that’s a green trashcan, you’re not supposed to put non-biodegradable stuff in there. Holy Lactating Cow, I think her boobs live in another gravity-free dimension.

The former Baywatch star apparently wastes no opportunity to be photographed, even while taking out the trash. Did she intentionally match her outfit to the trashcan?

Former Baywatch babe Traci Bingham was photographed looking, um, less than glamorous while leaving a Hollywood Bristol Farms earlier this week. Now, being an East Coaster, I have no idea what a “Bristol Farms” is, but I’d say it’s safe to assume from the pictures that it entails hiding under a bridge and “answering me these questions three.” Of course, it could also be a rift in the time-space continuum that opens a portal into the Ugly Dimension, but I don’t plan on getting close enough to ever find out.