Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf Are Everywhere

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Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Seriously, there is just no escaping these bitches.  You can’t run, you can’t hide… Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf will always find you.  I don’t actually hate either one of them, though.  I think they both have a tendency to act borderline retarded about 75% of the time, but really, who in Hollywood doesn’t?   Besides, mouthy and crazy are way the hell better than boring.  Anyway, the point is, Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf have both been winning me over a little bit against my will lately, and I really love me some giant fighting robots, but even I am getting kinda burned out on this Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen international press junket rampage.  Just nine more days until the movie comes out… I think we can make it if we knuckle down with enough alcohol.

Megan Fox at the UK premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in London:

Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the UK premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere:

Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox, Shia LaBeouf and Michael Bay at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox & Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Shia LaBeouf at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"Megan Fox at the Berlin premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

BREAKING NEWS: Megan Fox Says Stuff That’s Not Completely Retarded

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Megan Fox in Entertainment Weekly

Brace yourselves, y’all.  Megan Fox is in the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, and she gave an interview and said some stuff — are you sitting down? — that doesn’t make her seem dumber than a bucket of dead hamsters.  Oh I know, I’m as shocked as you are.  Some excerpts:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Transformers turned you into an overnight star. Looking back, how do you feel about the movie?
MEGAN FOX: I’m terrible in it. It’s my first real movie and it’s not honest and not realistic. The movie wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t proud about what I did.

You don’t sound convinced that [Transformers 2] is the greatest movie on earth.
It’s not trying to be the greatest movie on earth. It’s going to be the best action movie of the summer. Hands down, it will win that. But it’s not trying to be a Golden Globe-nominated film. It’s a badass popcorn summer movie.

You up for a third Transformers?
Sure. I mean, I can’t s— on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don’t want to blow smoke up people’s ass. People are well aware that this is not a movie about acting. And once you realize that, it becomes almost fun because you can be in the moment and go, ”All right, I know that when he calls Action! I’m either going to be running or screaming, or both.”

You’ve said you’re afraid of [Angelina Jolie].
I was joking! She always seems otherworldly in her power and her confidence. I’m sure she has no idea who I am. But if I were her, I’d be like, ”Who the f— is this little bulls— brat who was in Transformers that’s going to be the next me?” I don’t want to meet her; I’d be embarrassed.

[Brian Austin Green] is older than you. And you’ve said younger guys are a waste of time.
I don’t understand why people don’t have a f—ing sense of humor. Always assume that I’m being sarcastic. Like when I said those things about High School Musical. I didn’t really mean that it’s about pedophilia. But if you get high and you watch it, that is what that f—ing movie is about!

Did you watch that high?
Yes, and it blew my mind.

Looking ahead, where would you like to see your career in five years? What’s the best-case scenario?
If I’m still making Transformers five years from now, I might not be so überexcited. But there’s nothing specific that I need to accomplish. I just want to still be working.

What’s the worst-case scenario?
Umm…that I’d be on The Hills?

Some of that was actually — gasp — somewhat amusing.  Almost charming, even.  If Megan Fox keeps this up, I might have to re-evaluate my stance on her being functionally retarded.  Geez, and it was so much fun mocking her explosive diarrhea of the mouth.  Maybe this was just a fluke and next week she’ll go right back to nonstop chittering about her faux-bisexual proclivities and we can return to thinking she’s a vortex of idiocy.

Shia LaBeouf is On Parade

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Shia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazine

The press machine for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is still railroading its way through the media, but for once it doesn’t involve Megan Fox babbling incessantly about her sexuality.  Shia LaBeouf is in the latest issue of “Parade” magazine and he gives a surprisingly candid interview to Dotson Rader, who describes LaBeouf as “foul-mouthed, resentful, funny, prickly, quick-witted, and charming—a package of contradictions.”  The interview covers LaBeouf’s dirt-poor childhood, how he originally got into acting for the money, his insecurities and the fickle nature of fame.

On the accident last summer which injured his hand:

“Last July, I got in a car accident, and my truck flipped three times and landed on my hand,” he explains, raising his injured hand to show me. “It was smashed so bad, it didn’t even look like a hand. See the knuckle of my middle finger, the phalanx?” He rubs the knuckle. “There’s no bone left in there currently. And to fix this other finger, they took bone out of my hip. They’ll take out more bone to fix another finger.”

On performing as a clown with his street-vendor father:

“It was a hustle. We’d walk around the neighborhood in full clown regalia,” he recalls. “My embarrassment factor didn’t exist. I had fun, because I knew that in the middle of a performance my parents couldn’t fight. So, for sure, every day, there had to be some peaceful time for us, or we weren’t going to make it through the week financially.

“I’m still doing the same hustle now,” he continues. “The only change is that, instead of my dad selling hot dogs from the cart, it’s Steven Spielberg selling the hot dogs.”

On where he gets his sense of humour:

“My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked—just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor,” he says. “I’d get up there in my OshKosh B’Gosh outfit and my bowl haircut. I was a little kid with a Lenny Bruce mouth. That was the act. But there’s no money in stand-up comedy, so I went into acting.”

On his recent breakup, his alcoholism, and moving forward:

“Maybe it was career pressure,” he answers. “Maybe I chose work. Every man has those feelings of escape and survival. I know you shouldn’t be that way. I’m trying to understand it and find the answers. I don’t have them now. Like other 23-year-old guys, I’m normal and I’m fallible.”

“Why did the love of my life and I break up?” he asks, puzzled. “Man, I have no idea. What was that all about? I have no answers to anything. None. Why am I an alcoholic? I haven’t a damn clue! What is life about? I don’t know.”

“What I do know is, I screw up, and I know that I’m working on myself to be a better person,” he says. “So I have no apologies. The best I can do is learn from my mistakes and move forward. And that’s what I’m trying to do.”

Shia LaBeouf in the new issue of Parade:

Shia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazine

Shia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazine

Shia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazine

Shia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazineShia LaBeouf in "Parade" magazine

Giant Robots Fighting (Again, Some More)

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World premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

The world premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen happened in Tokyo, which means we are one step closer to the end of the press tour for this movie, when Megan Fox might finally shut the hell up for awhile.  Or at least until the press junkets for Jennifer’s Body and Jonah Hex.

Michael Bay with the cast at the world premiere in Tokyo:

Megan Fox, Michael Bay, and Shia LaBeouf at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoWorld premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"World premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"World premiere of "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Megan Fox:

Megan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoMegan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoMegan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoMegan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoMegan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoMegan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in Tokyo

Shia LaBeouf:

Shia LaBeouf at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoShia LaBeouf at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoShiab LaBeouf and Megan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoShia LaBeouf and Megan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoShia LaBeouf and Megan Fox at the "Transformers 2" premiere in Tokyo

Josh Duhamel:

Josh Duhamel at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoJosh Duhamel at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoJosh Duhamel at the "Transformers 2" premiere in Tokyo

Isabel Lucas (yeah, I have no idea who she is, either):

Isabel Lucas at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoIsabel Lucas at the "Transformers 2" premiere in TokyoIsabel Lucas at the "Transformers 2" premiere in Tokyo

More Than Meets the Eye:

"Transformers 2" world premiere in Tokyo"Transformers 2" world premiere in Tokyo

Megan Fox Does British GQ

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Megan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQ

Megan Fox only knows how to do two things:

  1. Stand around like a halfheartedly animated blowup doll
  2. Say staggeringly dumb shit

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens at the end of the month, so naturally Megan has been making the rounds of every magazine in the world and slutting it up as hard as she can without actually getting naked in any way (because she’s a serious actress, you know).  Megan also likes to give interviews like she’s in a contest with herself to see who’s the biggest idiot.  I wonder who the winner will be?  Oh, the suspense is killing me!

In the July ‘09 issue of British GQ:

Megan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQ

Megan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQ

Megan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQMegan Fox in July '09 issue of British GQ