Charlie Sheen doesn’t like to wait till he gets home to get his coke-fueled puss party on — he got naked and geeked up in the restaurant bathroom before he ever even made it to the Plaza Hotel the night he was taken to the hospital. Radar Online says:

“Charlie was wasted at the restaurant,” one source [said]. “He was snorting cocaine and drinking vodka [and] wine.

At one point he convinced [porn star call girl] Capri Anderson to go to the bathroom with him. When they got into the bathroom he started snorting cocaine and then took off his pants.

Charlie wanted to have sex with Capri and tried but she stopped him and demanded her $12,000. He didn’t have the money on him so she left him in the bathroom!

Capri returned to the table and Charlie’s assistant got nervous when he didn’t come back. She told him and the assistant went to the bathroom to get Charlie.

When the assistant opened the door, there was Charlie standing there naked with cocaine all over his face! He was delusional and just completely lost. Totally out of it.”

You’d almost need a chaser after giving Charlie Sheen a blowjob these days. I bet a little salt first and lime after would really help with the afterburn.

See photos from their date night here; Charlie leaving a film set in L.A. yesterday:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures


You might actually know the hooker Charlie Sheen locked in his Plaza Hotel closet the night he trashed his room in a drunken stupor. Or at least recognize her genitals. Small world, right? Radar Online says:

The woman has been uncovered as Christina Walsh — aka Capri Anderson, Alexis Capri, Stella Costanza and Capri Nubiles.

The 22-year-old has starred in a host of xxx videos, including Big Bust Cougars, Damn, She’s a Lesbian, Me & My Girlfriends, Amateur Angels 22, Barely 18: Spring Break and Lesbian Tendencies.

Multiple porn sources reveal her true identity is Christina Walsh, who once won first prize in a wet t-shirt competition, held in Miami.

I wonder if Charlie Sheen wore a top hat and a monocle while he was hittin that. With a broad as classy as the star of “Damn, She’s a Lesbian,” you’d almost have to. Anything else would be uncivilized!

More details have emerged about what led up to Charlie Sheen’s unfortunate “allergic reaction to medication” that resulted in $7,000 worth of damage to a Midtown hotel yesterday. According to TMZ:

Charlie’s alcohol-fueled rampage began at a restaurant called Daniel near the Plaza Hotel where [he] was staying. He, three other men and five women had an 8:00 PM reservation Tuesday night and Charlie was drinking heavily. Denise Richards, we’re told, went to the dinner but left fairly quickly after things got wild.

Charlie brought one of the women back to his hotel room and soon thereafter people on his floor heard what they say was primal screaming and swearing from inside the room. Charlie was calling the woman a whore and other names, when people started to complain.

We’re told Charlie ripped the curtains, overturned tables, damaged a lighting fixture and broke glass, which cut his toe open.

Of course, Charlie tested positive for cocaine during his psychiatric evaluation at the hospital, despite just having finished a stint in court-ordered rehab after threatening to kill his other ex-wife, Brooke Mueller. But he doesn’t need to go back to rehab, because this was really more of a “bump in the road” than a full-blown relapse. TMZ says:

Charlie Sheen [acknowledges] he screwed up in New York City, but has no plans to return to rehab.

People who have direct contact with Charlie tell us he wants to “move on.”

Charlie went home Tuesday night after landing in L.A.

And the best part about all this? Charlie Sheen is currently the highest-paid actor on US televesion. THE highest. You could mulch your backyard with Ben Franklins and wipe your ass with solid gold bars and still not piss away as much money in a year as this guy does in a weekend. I guess this is just what happens when an chlamydial force meets an multi-penetrable object.

Denise Richards talking about the trip to the hospital with Joy Behar:

Cops were called to a New York hotel this morning after a drunk and naked Charlie Sheen trashed his suite. Charlie, by the way, was there with his two daughters and ex-wife Denise Richards (they were on a different floor) to see “Mary Poppins” on Broadway. Good times all around! NY Post says:

Security at The Plaza Hotel on Fifth Avenue called police just after 2 a.m. where they found the hard-partying Sheen.

Tables and chairs had been thrown around the room and a chandelier was also damaged. The damages totaled about $7,000.

“The Two and a Half Men” star was accompanied to New York Hospital by his ex-wife Denise Richards, who was staying in a separate room at the Eloise Suite on the 18th floor.

Sheen was not injured, but checked himself into the hospital for an evaluation, sources said.

So what sparked the deranged chimpanzee-like hotel melee? Well, the hooker he was with tried to steal his wallet, so he locked her in the closet naked and then started Chris Farley-ing the furniture.

Sheen, 45, told police he had been “out partying.”

After he returned to his room with an unidentified woman, he noticed his wallet and cellphone were missing, causing him to fly into a rage.

A police official said the woman in the room with Sheen was an escort.

Life & Style magazine reported on its website that the woman was screaming inside a locked closet.

“She was fearing for her life and was naked,” a source told the website. “Charlie was incoherent but started screaming slurs at the cops. They recognized him immediately and gave him two options: they could take him to the hospital or take him down to the station. Charlie chose the hospital.”

This is just what I figured a family vacation with Charlie Sheen would look like. Only there should be more cheerleader costumes spattered with vomit and urine and somebody should have accidentally gotten shot by a donkey.

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