Nov 10, 2009
Page Six asks this morning, “Are Pamela Anderson’s famous looks fading?” I think it’s pretty safe to say they were being completely sarcastic. Bitch looks like she got walloped with the business end of the ugly stick. Page Six adds:
At [Pam's] fragrance launch in Miami, her manager demanded that photographers shoot her only with a “ring flash,” which eliminates shadows and imperfections. [Several] celebrity lensman argued that the flash requires a large battery pack and slows the job, [so Anderson's manager] then banned [them] and all others without a ring flash from Saturday’s Make-A-Wish Ball. Several photographers boycotted the charity event [over Anderson's ring-flash demands].
I don’t think a couple of fancy flash bulbs are gonna magically to turn back the clock twenty years and suddenly convince everyone that Pamela Anderson is beautiful again. It’s be like dumping a teaspoon of water on a gasoline fire or making a hooker put her teeth back in after giving you a blowjob. Look, we’ve been to the puppet show, we’ve seen the strings. The damage is already done, baby. You ain’t foolin’ anybody with that shit.
Looking pregnant last month:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin
Sep 25, 2009
Baywatch star Pamela Anderson is up to her big fake breast implants in unpaid bills and back-taxes. Star Magazine says
Pam owes more than $1.2 million to creditors, including construction companies she stiffed after they remodeled her five-bedroom Malibu Colony home last year!
[Pam owes] Bruder Construction company $674,043… in addition to liens from countless other construction companies, Pam also owes $252,360 to California’s Franchise Tax Board in unpaid income tax from 2007.
Well, she could always make a few bucks selling her own skin to reupholster car interiors. People are always in the market for good quality leather!
Sep 4, 2009
There was something different about Eva Mendes at the Venice Film Festival Wednesday night, and it’s not just that she’s not topless or covered in oil. Can you guess what it is? The Daily Mail says
The Hollywood actress looked far from her usual luminous self Wednesday night, [appearing] tired as she arrived for the premiere of the Italian epic Baaria.
Perhaps jet-lag was to blame after her long-haul flight from Los Angeles.
Well, from the looks of it, she was probably up all night packing the bags under her eyes. Cross-continental flights really require a lot of organization, you know!
Topless and covered in oil for this month’s Italian Vanity Fair, plus more saggy-baggy in Venice:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Aug 18, 2009
God. Damn. Lindsay Lohan is only 23 years old. 23! In human years! Is there a clock that runs backwards nearby or something? It’s like Indiana Jones’ girlfriend in Raiders of the Lost Ark and Mary-Kate Olsen had a really ugly old woman baby, only instead of raising it in a New Orleans assisted living facility, they coated it in bacon rinds and fed it methamphetamines and scabs from the knees of truck stop hookers. They could call this version “The Curious Case of Benjamin’s Butthole.” Othewise it’s just copyright infringement.
At the Inglourious Bastards afterparty in New York:
PHOTO SOURCE: Splash News
Jun 2, 2009
Oh look, here’s something you don’t see every day–an angry, fat, ugly lesbian! And according Beth Ditto’s Wikipedia entry, a squirrel-eating, no-deodorant, hairy armpitted lesbian! Fatty angry! Fatty smash! Digital Spy gets in on the gorilla action:
Gossip frontwoman Beth Ditto has slammed Katy Perry for being “offensive to gay culture”.
Speaking to Attitude, the singer admitted that she was unhappy with the content of Perry’s signature track ‘I Kissed A Girl’.
“[It's an] anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by making out or faking gay,” she explained.
“I hate Katy Perry! I’m so offended. She’s just riding on the backs of our culture, without having to pay any of the dues and not being actually lesbian or anything at all.”
Ditto is not the first celebrity to criticise the track. Last year, Pink suggested that the song “trivialised being gay” and admitted that her gay girlfriends had been “kinda put off by it”.
Well of course she’s angry. I suspect the daughter of Jabba is all pissy because she knows she can’t get her doughnut-glazed lips near Katy Perry’s cooch. I think Katy is annoying as all hell, but at least she doesn’t make Susan Boyle look like a Jenny Craig spokeswoman.
Here’s pictures of Katy Perry instead because she’s not a sea cow:
May 13, 2009
Here’s something you don’t see every day–The Emperor (aka Marilyn Manson) unaccompanied by his usual Royal Guards on a trip to view the progress on the latest version of the Death Star. The last one was blown up by damn teenagers!
His Lord Pastiness leaving Katsuya in Hollywood:
