Pill Jersey

Celebrity favorite Kitson came under fire yesterday for promoting prescription drug abuse with their latest NFL-style jerseys stamped with the words Adderall, Vicodin and Xanax on the back. It’s the perfect thing to wear if your “I Party Hearty” and “I’m Not as Think as You Drunk I Am” t-shirts are in the wash. Otherwise how will the other kids know how cool you are? The Daily Mail says:

The [jerseys] were designed by celebrity favorite, Brian Lichtenberg, who is known for his playful designs.’

The jerseys, which range from $58 to $98, reads: ‘Pop one on and you’ll feel better. Doctor’s orders.’

In response to the negative reactions, the store released a statement (header, right) defending the T-shirts as ‘art’ and a ‘parody of ‘pop culture’.

It also launched a banner on its website in a bid to win back customers, stating that a portion of proceeds will be donated to the Medicine Abuse Project.

Oh, they wanted to “open a socially-conscious dialogue,” NOT appeal to dummy kids with too much money on their hands. Whatever. This is what a football team of Lindsay Lohans and Amanda Byneses would look like. Maybe next Kitson can come out with jerseys that say Valtrex, Penicillin, and Klonopin, too. Team Pfizer all the way!

Now that he’s finished with sex therapy, Tiger Woods has checked into The Meadows treatment center in Arizona to kick his addiction to painkillers and sleeping pills. The New York Post says

Woods’ drugs of choice are said to be the sleep medication Ambien and painkiller Vicodin.

“In [sex] therapy, Tiger blamed a lot of his cheating behavior on his drug addiction, saying that the drugs were responsible for impairing his judgment,” an anonymous source [said].

The golfer’s lovers have said he enjoyed mixing Ambien and sex to heighten pleasure.

I can barely point the car in the right direction when I’m wacked out on painkillers, much less hit a tiny ball with a little stick and make it land within three feet of a hole 200 yards away from me. The inside of Tiger’s head must look like the goddamn targeting system of a F-14 Tomcat.

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