Kylie Bisutti beat more than 10,000 hopefuls when she won the Victoria’s Secret Model Search two years ago, but she has since abandoned the company because she felt Jesus didn’t want her modeling lingerie. She said in an interview (via the Daily Mail):
“I just started becoming more uncomfortable with [modeling lingerie] because of my faith… my body should only be for my husband and it’s just a sacred thing.
I didn’t really want to be that kind of role model… I had a lot of younger Christian girls that were looking up to me and then thinking that it was okay for them to walk around and show their bodies in lingerie to guys.”
I personally think she’s rejecting her God-given talents, because breasts like those could certainly convince me to give religion another try. Hell, “Jesus Christ” were the first words outta my mouth when I saw this picture of her in a bikini.
In Maxim before her convictions ruined everything:
Everyone was expecting Madonna to pull some Janet Jackson-type shenanigans during her Super Bowl half-time show, but it was M.I.A. who crossed FCC lines last nite… by giving the finger. Oooh. ESPN says:
In front of some 110 million viewers on NBC and uncounted others online, she flipped the bird and appeared to sing, “I don’t give a (expletive)” at one point, though it was hard to hear her clearly.
The NFL and NBC wasted little time in responding. “The obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans,” said Brian McCarthy, spokesman for the NFL, which produced Madonna’s halftime show.
Ah, the bird. How gangsta of her. She must have assumed we all peaked in seventh grade detention.
Welcome to Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel’s office, or “St. Barth’s” as it’s known to the rest of us. Saying her life is better than yours is like saying Rosie O’Donnell looks a little like a female Nacho Libre. An understatement to say the least.
You know what I can’t say no to? No, besides a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and a bottle of Wild Turkey. Boobs. I’m not even that particular if the girl is attractive, but today I lucked out with Behati Prinsloo being the bearer of the breasts. I’d say more about her, but now that I mentioned ice cream, I’m starting to get hungry.
Despite recently reuniting with her husband of sixteen days, it’s not been all sunshine and roses for 45-year-old Sinead O’Connor. In fact, just yesterday she took to Twitter to announce that she was “really unwell” and in need of immediate psychiatric attention. The Daily Mail says:
Taking to the social networking site, the mother-of-four claimed that she was in ‘danger’ if she didn’t receive medicine immediately.
The singer began her series of odd Tweets by claiming that Ireland is a ‘VERY hard place to find help in.’
‘Does any1 know a psychiatrist in dublin or wicklow who could urgently see me today please? im really un-well… and in danger,’ she tweeted to her 5,422 followers.
And just what does Victoria’s Secret Angel Candice Swanepoel in their Spring 2012 swimsuit catalog have to do with Sinead O’Connor? Not a goddamn thing. After that tattoo, I thought you’d already suffered enough.
The tags on these photos of Candice Swanepoel said they were new, but I could neither confirm nor deny this, mostly because finding out would have involved me not looking at the pictures. I just figured I couldn’t run the risk of them not being new, because it wouldn’t be fair to you if they were. That’s just how much I care. Better to err on the side of of caution, I always say.
It’s exactly thirty-seven days, eleven hours and forty-three minutes until Christmas, so I thought that pics of Adriana Lima in Victoria’s Secret’s Christmas catalog would help get us in the holiday spirit. And for the record, I was almost ten before I learned that “getting in the holiday spirit” didn’t mean “stumbling around drunk in a red velvet suit with a visible erection and vomit in your beard.” Yeah, my dad made a pretty shitty Santa. You don’t even wanna know what I though “decking the halls” was.
The thing that sucks about winter is you get way less hot bikini action than you do in the summer. Fortunately, Victoria’s Secret has taken it upon themselves to rectify that injustice by putting pics of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini in their holiday catalog. Which ultimately begs the question, is that a yule log in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Beats the hell outta ten lords a-leaping, I can tell you that.
Victoria’s Secret supermodels Candice Swanepoel and Erin Heatherton were aptly dressed for the launch of their latest Angel fragrance and the Dream Angels bra at the Victoria’s Secret in SoHo yesterday. All I know is if I’m ever on the operating table and I code, this better damn well be what I see when I go into the light. Anything else will make heaven a giant disappointment.
These pics of Candice Swanepoel in the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog don’t have anything to do with anything, but they’re not Lindsay Lohan, so here you go. Consider it a little something to wash down the taste of that last post. Besides, I figured you might have wanted to see someone whose hair is blonde instead of her teeth for a change.
Hey, what’s the exact opposite of Kristen Stewart in a full suit of armor? Candice Swanepoel in a sexy cowgirl outfit. Meet the yin to her yang. Now I have brought balance to the internet, just as the prophecy foretold!
You might remember that I posted some pics from this bikini shoot back in August, and now we’ve got the finished product to admire. Those pics confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that Candice Swanepoel looks just as good in real life as she does in these overshopped catalog pics. Needless to say, I fucking hate her and I hope she dies in a fire. The end.
