Lena Dunham Frumptastic

FIRST PHOTO: The face you make right before you decide to watch an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

SECOND PHOTO: The face you make right AFTER you watched an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

THIRD PHOTO: The face you make while pondering the things you could have done with the hour you just wasted watching an episode of “Girls” on HBO.

So her clothes are vintage and from a tiny boutique in The Village so exclusive it doesn’t even have a name. Lena Dunham is frump incarnate. From the dowdy hair right down to her canvas shoes. I would actually cross a street to avoid walking past someone wearing those shoes and making those faces. I’d assume they had been let loose from a nervous hospital and probably just killed somebody with a lawnmower blade.

Something called Retro Space unearthed a 32-year-old Victoria’s Secret catalog which is NOTHING like the current incarnation, most notably because it features un-airbrushed women without overinflated lips and breast implants and twenty-five pounds of hair extensions. The Daily Mail says:

Unlike the marketing imagery we see today, the ’79 cast of models have uneven skin tones, slight love handles and even sagging breasts.

Muscle lines – which would normally be softened – are prominent, waists are not carved away, and tan lines, nipples and even pubic hair are visible.

It’s so nice to see a real woman. Today’s Angels look more like the cloners on Kamino than anything that could actually bear children. And that’s what it’s ultimately all about, isn’t it? It just never sounds as sexy when you frame it along the lines of the biological imperative.

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