Despite reports suggesting otherwise, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt say that their newborn twins were not the product of in vitro fertilization. In Touch Weekly says

Angelina denies Us Weekly’s recent report that she underwent fertility treatments. “If they had been conceived though IVF, we would have been happy to discuss it,” she tells People magazine. “But we have been fortunate never to have had fertility problems.”

Brad reportedly said, “Are you fucking kidding me? I drilled that ass like it was an Alaskan coastline during the Bush administration,” but ultimately People found his comment too politically charged for printing.

Update: Sorry, we had to remove the pictures due to copyright infringement.

The first pictures Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline will go down as the most expensive celebrity baby photos in tabloid history — the pics of Brad and Angie’s newborn twins went for a record-setting $15 million dollars. The Daily Mail reports

After a fierce contest between the celebrity magazines, Hello! outbid its rival OK! magazine for the rights to the pictures, and even brought its publication date forward to August 4 to capitalize on the coup. The American rights to the pictures will go to People magazine, which also published the first images of their daughter Shiloh in 2006.

Although the first pictures of the twins are no longer up for grabs, I’d bet that the rights to the twins’ first solid stool is still available. Time pull out the bid paddles, tabloids! You can almost smell the ad revenues from here!

Skeletal Angie in stills from Wanted:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt conceived twins Knox and Vivienne through the magic of reproductive science. According to Us Weekly

The actress chose [in vitro fertilization] (which can cost around $12,000 a pop) so ’she wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant. She could just knock it out.’

“If we’re going to have 10 kids, we’d like to raise them while we’re young,” Angelina told Elle U.K. last year.

It’s easy to get impatient when you’re itching to start your family. Like Phiengchai Sisouvanh Synhavong of Washington state, for example. She bypassed fertility drugs altogether by stabbing a pregnant woman to death and cutting the unborn baby out her womb. Apparently homicide and kidnapping don’t cost near as much as in vitro fertilization. The down side is that they’re both class one felonies in all fifty states punishable by lifetime in prison and an eternity in hell. Sometimes the bargain isn’t always the best bet!